She said that everything was going to be ok, that I would get to keep my knee but no that just can’t happen now can it.
Ever since I found out that I would have to give up my knee I haven’t talked to anyone but her, I didn’t want to talk to anyone but nobody was getting the point, I felt like snapping at them but I didn’t I just kept to myself.
I was lying on my bed staring at the selling like I have for the past 8 hours thinking about how am I going to do this, how she could have done this to me get my hopes up for them to get shattered the next day, it was at this point of time that I had blocked out the world, I knew that people telling me it was going to be ok was only going to make me more mad so I just blocked them out.
Mom had been in a couple of times and tried to get me to talk but I just pretended she wasn’t there, but what really got me thinking is what she said before she left the room “she was there from the beginning, but why not now” then she left that was over 5 hours ago.
I have so many thoughts going through my head, it wasn’t meant to be like this, I was meant to keep my knee and be able to walk not to me stuck in a wheelchair or crunchers, I was meant to be able to walk freely not have to be pushed around.
As the meds started to die down a bit I was feeling pain in my knee and thigh, I was about to call the nurse in but she walked in “how are you feeling, are the meds still working or do you need more” she asked “more” I said barely more than a whisper “ok then” she said and then got to work. After about ten minutes I couldn’t fell my leg, I sighed in relief but not for too long because Jake came through the door, hands on knees and breathing heavily, he held up a finger tell me to give him a minute, after a minute he rose and walked over to my bed and slapped the back of my head.
“What was the for you ass” I hissed and rubbed the back of my head,
“that was for making her cry, how could you do that to her Brennan she was there from the start, she was there day and night not wanting to leave your side but no you had to go and yell at her for something she didn’t even do”.
With that he walked back out the door without another word, I just stared at the door not knowing what to do or what had just happened .
I closed my eyes and letting them rest but as the sleep started to catch up I found myself falling into a nice, peaceful sleep.
When I woke up I could remember the look on her face, the tears running down her face, her telling me that she was sorry but I was so damn mad at myself for getting my hopes up yet again, I was angry at everything I just wanted to curl up into a ball and hide myself from the world, I just wanted to disappear into thin air.
Dr. Mike and a few nurses came into my room, the nurses went and did a check up on some stuff and Dr. Mike stood at the end of the bed looking into a folder, he look up a few seconds later and the nurses left.
“So how are you felling Brennan” he asked, I mumbled an ok and then went back to looking out the window, I could just hear Dr. Mike talking but I wasn’t too sure I was too busy looking at the rain that hit the window and continued to go down the window.