i remember 3 years ago, before i even had a wattpad account, or even started fanfic writing, before i would go to sleep at night i would imagine this character in my head. i dont remember how she was formed, but i remember just creating twd scenes in my head with her in it. i got invested in this mystery character because i only used my face on her for the time being, but i wanted her to be more than just in my imagination.
so thats when i decided to write her down in the form of lauren martin.
i began writing bloodsport as a book called "all i want" with probably a shitty cover and badly written first chapter. i remember my friend started writing some stuff and got more views than me and i actually got jealous. not that i didn't want them to get those views, but i craved for people to read this story i wanted to tell, even if i had only a basic idea of where i wanted it to go.
but that only fuelled me more to continue writing. i kept on pumping out chapters, this book soon becoming one alongside 3, 5, 10 other fanfics. but this was still my favourite, and this was still my priority.
i loved lauren martin probably more than any other person reading. i don't know when it started. maybe when i finally put a face claim to the character. maybe when i just started. but it doesn't matter, because not a day goes by where i don't think of her.
i remember reaching the chapter (8?) where lauren and carl are the in abandoned house. it ended differently, and somehow after 8 chapters i realized i wanted to change things. lauren had too quickly gotten to the point where she was smiling and happy again. i didn't like how fast it was going, and i didn't like me writing in first person, so i stopped and unpublished the chapters, rewriting from the beginning in 3rd person. i also renamed it to bloodsport, seeing as the song all i want was a pretty big spoiler for what i was planning for the end of the book.
and it all gets a little foggy from there because the next memory i have was when i was in line for space mountain at disney in 2017 (sadly couldnt get a fast pass), writing for act 2/3 at the time, and i had spent most of the time in line writing a chapter, and then maybe one more. i realize now that that really shows how excited and passionate i was about this book, i really remember wanting to keep writing, i had so much inspiration.
then on april 2nd, i wrote and published the final death scene. it was silly of me to post it right after april fools day, which spawned a lot of comments of people screaming IS THIS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE??? oops. but i had finally finished this project that had been my goal for 2 years. it was a book that none of my other fanfics could mean to me as this one did. at the time i had no idea about carl's death in season 8 of course, and her death had been planned from the start, so this part of the show seemed like a good time to end things. it was a bittersweet ending, and writing it hurt as much as you guys reading it, even if i knew the day would come where i'd have to try and make it as emotional as possible.
i am giving you this story today because i hope bloodsport has touched your heart as it did mine. i had a 50k celebration not too long after the end of bloodsport, and now one year later i get to celebrate this book reaching 100,000 views. i don't think it's hit me yet, because even as the views get higher i can't really fathom how much that really means. i dreamed of those views 3 years ago because i knew i had a story i wanted to tell, and im so grateful my wish could come true. so this is me telling you that, that fanfic you love to write? that fanfic that had less than 1k views? keep. writing. and don't stop.
as always, you know how much i adore you guys, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the comments, all the votes, and all the reads. thank you for taking time out of your busy life to read bloodsport. thank you for 100,000 reads. thank you. thank you. thank you.
i love you guys so so much, and i'll never forget the amazing experience i had with writing this story.
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