Chapter 82

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Thor sat near Lokis bed, just watching him.
They had been able to get Loki back to the fortress before he bled out, but his condition was worse than it had been in a long time. He was weak and pale and cold from Blood loss, he was thin from not eating for weeks, he was a mess of blood and dirt. as Thor carried him back to the fortress, he realized that Loki was starting to look a little too familiar.... a little too much like his old self, a little too much like the Loki that was scared of Thor because he was big.
As they were making their way to the fortress, Thor tried to keep Loki calm and warm, but he still shivered, and he was still afraid of dying. And to make matters worse, Loki didn't seem to find much security in Thor anymore.
Finally they made it back, Thor knew Loki was at his limit, so he got him to Trinity right away. she didn't waste a moment, she got him to a healing room, put him to sleep, and started to work on the injury.
So now Thor was just sitting by Loki's bed, waiting for him to wake up. Loki looked nearly lifeless, and he seemed to disappear under the blankets. Thor remembered the first thing Loki ever said to him. When loki first met Thor he was afraid of him because of his size, he knew Thor could hurt him if he wanted to, his exact word were 'you could break me in half' which was probably true at the time, but it always bothered Thor. From that moment forward, Thor had always been so careful in making sure that Loki wasn't intimidated by him, he made sure Loki knew that Thor wasn't a danger to him. He made sure that Loki knew they were brothers, allies, people to have each others backs. But Thor thought that that bond broke when Loki called him Laufey.
"You should get some rest" Thor heard Trinity say from behind him. He was the only soldier who hadn't gone to be taken care of, and he was the only one who hadn't eaten or slept since arriving.
"I want to make sure he's alright" Thor said almost robotically, he knew someone would be coming in to tell him to go take care of himself, but he didn't want to leave until he'd had a chance to talk to Loki.
"I know, but that's what I'm here for. He's going to be alright, I've taken care of him, right now he just needs rest" Trinity told him. Thor took a deep breath.
"I want to make sure he still trusts me.." he said, which Trinity didn't really understand.
"Why wouldn't he?" Trinity asked.
"Because I hacked open his stomach. I let him go weeks without eating, I let him run himself into the ground, this is my fault" Thor said, looking at how far Lokis health had fallen under his watch. Trinity didn't want Thor to take the blame for this though.
"He wouldn't blame you for that.... you said it was all by his choice, he wouldn't think any less of you-" Thor didn't let her finish.
"He called me laufey" Thor said. Trinity got quiet.
"When?" She asked after a moment of silence.
"When I was removing it. He mistook me for laufey, that's how much pain I was causing him" Thor said, sounding bitter and angry, but it was all toward himself.
"Thor he was delirious, he didn't know what he was saying, he doesn't honestly think you're like Laufey" Trinity said.
"Yeah I know, that's the problem. I was causing him enough pain to make him delirious enough to think I was laufey" Thor said back. Trinity new that Thor always wanted to make things better for Loki, so this was pretty hard on him.
"He could be asleep for hours... go clean yourself up, eat something, get some sleep. I'll send for you the moment he wakes up" Trinity told Thor, he looked as worn down as Loki, the only difference was that Thor didn't have a slash going through his stomach. He didn't want to leave, but at the same time he knew that Trinity was right, Loki could he out for hours.
"Alright. But call me as soon as he wakes up" Thor said as he stood up and left the room to go take care of himself.
=*****=
Like Trinity said, Loki was asleep for hours. He laid there, motionless, for hours before anything changed. Trinity sat near Loki and watched him, waiting for him to stir or groan or wake up with a nightmare. After a while, he started to move slightly, he stirred a little bit under the blanket that was over him, and his eyes slowly opened. He groaned as he slid his hand over the stitched and bandaged gash in his stomach.
"Lay still" Trinity said as she came to his bed and moved his hand off the wound. Loki looked over to her.
"Trinity... I missed-" but Trinity didn't let him finish.
"Shut up" she snapped, which was a little startling to Loki. That certainly wasn't the welcoming response he was expecting.
"Trinity, are you okay?" Loki asked, his voice was rough and his throat was very very dry.
"No Loki, I am not okay. I haven't been okay for hours, and it's your fault. If you weren't in such bad shape I would slap you right now" she said, sounding angry. "What were you thinking? Why would you do that? How could you intentionally go weeks without eating and then feast on some rodent you found in the woods? Did you not think for one second that-" this time, Loki cut her off.
"Wait, Wait, you're mad at me for giving my food to other people?" He asked, he would think that sacrifice would be looked at as a good thing, not something to get angry at. But clearly she was angry.
"Yes, Yes I am." She said. Loki didn't understand this at all.
"Why?" He asked. She huffed.
"Because I love you, you idiot" she snapped. "And how do you think I would've felt if you died?" She asked, her voice was now sounding a little shaky, like it was hard for her too keep being mad now that she was talking to him.
"Trinity.... I wouldn't have died" he told her, understanding her anger a little bit.
"You don't know that" she said, trying to keep her voice sounding mad.
"I know what I can take" Loki replied.
"You keep saying that, and you keep ending up in a hospital bed!" she said back aggressively, hitting the side of the bed. "I know you value other people above yourself and I love that, but there's a line between heroic and stupid, and you went way over it. Your life isn't only yours anymore Loki, what happens to you affects me too, it affects the people around you. Can you not see that? Did you not think at all about how I would feel if you died? Did you not think about what it would do to me if-" Loki cut her off again.
"Of course I did" he said with a Little more strength as he forced himself to sit up. Pain shot through his stomach but he tried to ignore it. "What do you think kept me going? The only reason I didn't go into shock was because I had you On my mind. For the past there weeks, all I thought about was getting back here to you, you never left my mind and I never stopped thinking about how you would feel if I failed. So don't you dare think I just forgot you, you should know by now that I love you more than that." He told her sternly. She stood there for a minute glaring at him, then leaned down, grabbed his face, and kissed him. Loki was a mess, he was I a lot of pain, and he really should have been laying down, but neither of them really cared right now.
"I hate you sometimes" she said against his lips as she kissed him more deeply.
"I love you too" he said back. They kissed for a moment longer until Loki broke it.
"Will you get me my coat?" He asked. Trinity stopped and pulled back slightly, why was he asking for his coat in the middle of a kiss?.
"What?" She said, thinking she must have misheard him.
"I need my coat" he repeated, and he didn't appear to be kidding.
"Is something wrong with you? Why would you need your coat right now?" She asked, checking his eyes to see if maybe he had a concussion or something.
"I'm fine, I just- I need my coat. Right now. Please" he said back, and he looked a little bit urgent, and maybe slightly nervous. Trinity nodded and stood up.
"Okay... are you sure you're okay?" She asked as she went over to the table with his clothes on it and grabbed his coat for him. He nodded and sat up.
His stomach felt like it was on fire, he never got any kind of pain medication, and he felt like He was being cut open again.
"Hey, lay down" Trinity said as she came back to his bed and put his coat down "that wound is still really fresh. You have to take care of it" she told him, but he didn't lay back down.
"This will only take me a minute, please just let me do what I need to do" he said to her, the same nervous/ urgent look on his face. Trinity was confused and concerned, but she stood back while he sat up and grabbed his coat. He started to feel dizzy with pain as he dug through the pockets, he body was screaming at him to lay back down.
"Loki, you're clearly in a lot of pain, can this wait till later?" Trinity asked, seeing sweat start to bead on his forehead, and his face starting to pale even further.
"No.... it can't wait.." he said breathlessly, still rummaging through the pockets of his coat. He was starting to feel exhausted, but he knew he wanted to do this.
"Loki-" Trinity started to talk, but loki cut her off.
"Okay, I found it" Loki said, taking something out of one of the pockets of his coat. She tried to see what it was that he needed so bad, but whatever he pulled out of his pocket was Small a light to fit in his fist and she couldn't see it.
"Great, What is it?" Trinity asked, wondering what it was that he needed so badly.
"Just- just give me a minute" Loki said, then pulled himself up off the bed. Trinity tried to stop him but he ended up falling right down to his knees. The pain from his stomach traveled through his entire body, making him feel hot.
"Loki please" she said, trying to stand him up again.
"No, no this is where I want to be" he said, taking a deep breath.
"What does that mean?" Trinity asked, standing in front of him. "Loki what are you doing?"
Loki took a deep breath, the item from his pocket still clutched tightly in his hand, he straightened his back and brought up his right knee so that he was kneeling.
"It's my understanding that this is supposed to be done on one knee" he told her, looking up at her with a weak smile. Trinity felt her heart skip a beat when she realized what was happening.
"Loki..." she didn't have the rest of the sentence. Loki took a deep breath again and opened the box that was in his hand, revealing the diamond ring inside.
"Trinity.... I love you. I kept trying to think of different ways to say it, but it's simple. I love you. I thought about how I should ask this, I thought about how I should do this, I thought about where I should do it, and then I remembered when you told me to stop overthinking things. So I'm taking your advice, this doesn't have to be complicated, it's really very simple, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. So, Trinity... will you marry me?"

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