First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...

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"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." ~ Lemony Snicket


He knew it was improbable.


Defying the laws of physics, atom alignment, and everything in the realm of scientific methodology.

But for some reason, with every tick of the clock, the silver band on Jack's left hand felt heavier and heavier. And was currently burning a hole through his finger. While it was just a simple circle of lustrous metal, barely even making a noticeable dent on his finger, the reason behind its placement was messing with his head. Turning it around and performing somersaults.

When the doctor had unceremoniously shoved the ring on his finger with a quick wink and turned on her heel towards the front desk, he had stayed frozen in the doorway, unable to process what had just happened.

Because it wasn't how he had imagined it would be.

Not that he had imagined her giving him a ring in any other context. But still.

It was the principle of the concept. That was it. He had a problem with it based on principle.

Anyway, to sum it all: the ring on his finger was distracting him from his current task.

His thoughts were interrupted by his wife. Who leaned over to hiss in his ear. "What did you put for sex?"

Answering her own question by swiping her eyes down his paper, she rebuked him in a hushed tone. "Rhodes, you can't put 'surprise me'. That's not how this works!"

He adjusted himself in his seat and wagged his partially filled out document at her.

"And how do you know how babies work?"

"Well, for starters: I once was a baby myself. So I do have experience in the field. And secondly, for the last time, I'm a doctor." She thumped her name tag which read 'Dr. Veronica Chase' and then pointed to his own 'Dr. James Chase' name tag. "And you are too! So, no! You can't put surprise me when asked about the sex of a baby."

Fake names

Fake marriage

Fake baby.

When will it end. . .

He pursed his lips and pouted, rubbing the bridge of his nose at the same time. "I still don't get why I have to be a coroner in this fake marriage. I could have been something cool like an astronaut or an archaeologist. But no- I have to be a freak who dissects dead bodies. "

"Really? And what would you say when someone asks you about the Western Roman Era. Or how you pee in space?"

"Well, what am I supposed to do when someone asks me about dead bodies?!"

"No one is going to ask that. This is an adoption agency, not an episode of Criminal Minds"

Then the annoying woman turned back to her own paperwork to finish filling it out, breezing through the questionnaire like lying was her job.

Well. It kind of was. . .

In other news, Jack never knew that there was so much paperwork to get a baby. Adopt a baby.


Or fake adopt a baby.

Jack personally preferred the old fashion way.

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