The Sith that Joined The Resistance

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"The ice inside me melts. Suddenly, I'm burning up and terrified, scared I'll be too weak to resist.

Scratch that - I'm petrified I've already given in."

~Amanda Bouchet, A Promise of Fire


Everyone was assembled in the auditorium and the air was tense with excitement. I'd never seen people so eager to fight before, but I guess I never knew anyone who had anything to fight for but themselves. My mother walked in, and wasted no time getting down to business.

"Good day everyone. I am pleased to inform you that we have finalised our battle strategy." She pressed a button on the podium and a hologram image was projected onto the screen in front of her.

"We will have two teams, air and ground." she said, pointing. On the screen was a complex plan of Snoke's battleship, and I marvelled at the amount of detail that it had. The Resistance had definitely acquired more intel on us than we'd thought. "The air team will engage the drones that will be deployed from here, whilst damaging the external structure of the cannon here." she continued, as red marks appeared wherever her finger touched. Sometimes I still wondered how the person standing there, leading a rebellion, was my mother.

"Meanwhile, as the battle ensues, the ground crew will breach from this entrance here with a cloaked ship." she turned back briefly and looked at the crowd. When I caught her eye she smiled warmly, and then turned back to the screen. As brief as the look was, the moment seemed to stretch on forever and I couldn't imagine how I'd lived without her all those years. 

"The mission of the ground team is to infiltrate the cannon's internal hardware, and wire it to overload with a remote detonator. We will not be engaging Snoke or any of his associates beyond that."  Her last words echoed a warning as she looked around the room again.

"The ground team will be lead by myself, whilst the air team will be lead by Commander Dameron."  Then, a man stood up and walked over to the podium. His features were set in a serious expression as he towered over the General in his uniform. Rey had mentioned him  before, once, but didn't seem very affectionate when she did. "Poe and I just never really saw eye to eye." she had said, retracting her lightsaber. Thoughts of her threatened to flood my mind at that moment, but I stayed stubbornly focused on the man at the podium.

"Thank you General." he said, as she stepped down. "Now, the air team will split up into four squadrons, and we will attack at these four points. Our analytical team has calculated that these will be the weakest points of the vessel." His whole manner was very formal and he reminded me, in some twisted way, of Hux. "We also need to remember that we will be sharing airspace with the Chandrilan military, and so we should try not to get in each other's way." His voice echoed for a moment, and then there was silence.

"Any questions?"

A hand shot up on one of the lower rows and everyone turned.

"Yes Finn?"

Finn stood up and cleared his throat. "So, when do we find out who is on which team?" Then it dawned on me, if Rey was on the ground team, she would be at a greater risk of running into Snoke. I hadn't spoken to her since I'd walked out of the training room the previous day. I'd never been this angry with her before, and I couldn't pretend it didn't hurt, but it hurt a lot more knowing that she'd put herself in danger just because of her pride. 

Poe looked like he was about to say something but the General quickly interrupted him. "We are still deciding, but we will inform everyone of their positions soon enough. For the time being, I want all the bombers prepped and all the hyperdrives charged up. We move by tomorrow's sunrise."

Then she dismissed the meeting, and everyone began to filter out of the various exits. I was tempted to look for Rey, but instead found myself pushing through the crowd towards my mother.

"Ben. It's good to see you." My mother said as I approached, and placed a hand gingerly on her arm. 

I smiled "It's good to see you to." I said, then I noticed Poe hovering nearby. The General looked over at him.

"Commander Dameron, I'd like you to meet my son, Ben Solo." He stepped forward and gave me a stern glance, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. I returned his look with an impassive stare.

"So you are the Sith that joined the Resistance." he said, and I couldn't work out whether he was surprised or disgusted. Then he extended his hand and said "Glad to have you here." I shook it firmly. "Maybe you can give us some more insight into how The First Order works." he continued. I searched his mind for a brief second before I dropped his hand, and realised that he was not pretending.

"I'd be happy to." I responded. Poe nodded then turned to the General and said, "Well I'll see you at the meeting later. He then walked off, leaving the two of us alone at the centre of the empty hall. 


I looked down to find my mother eyeing me with concern. "Something is bothering you."

I sighed. It was amazing how well she knew me after such a long time. "Yes, there is."

"Go on." she urged. How was I going to say this without sounding overprotective?

"It's Rey." I said after a while. "She can't be on the ground team." My mother looked at me with interest but said nothing, so I continued. "Whilst we were training, Snoke kidnapped her and held her on his ship." Her eyes widened. "She managed to escape, but I know that he's not finished with her yet."

"I wasn't aware of this." My mother said, her gaze trailing off to the floor.

I gave her an urgent look. "He wants her."

She sighed. "Don't worry Ben, nobody will be going anywhere near Snoke. Then she touched my arm lightly again. "I know you want to protect her, but Rey chose to fight for The Resistance. If she feels that that is what she wants to do, then you have to let her."

For a while I didn't know what to say. She and Rey seemed to share the same opinions about battle, which wasn't getting me anywhere.

"If something happened to her, I'd never forgive myself. Ever." I said to her, as I closed my eyes. Nobody else knew what Snoke was capable of, not like I did, and the danger Rey would be putting herself in if she boarded that ship. I knew how much he wanted to get his hands on her, to hold her power even if only for a second. He would ask her to join him, just like he had once asked me. And I knew what would happen when she refused.  A galaxy without Rey would be...meaningless.

"I know Ben, I know." she replied. She said nothing for a while, and then she asked "Do you love her?"

Love. It was a word I rarely used because in truth, it terrified me. But the fear of losing Rey seemed to surpass all that.

"More than anything." I said. 

"Have you told her?"

Every conversation Rey and I had ever had played in my head, but there was no mention of love anywhere. Why hadn't I told her? I asked myself. But I couldn't find a reason.

"No." I answered.

"You should." she replied, smiling one of her knowing smiles. "You should tell her exactly how you feel so that she'll know how much she's risking when she steps onto that ship."

Strangely, I found myself smiling. "I will, thank you." She nodded. 

"Now I'm afraid I must leave you." she said, "Make sure you get some rest because tomorrow, we make history." 

Then she left, the hem of her dress swishing above the stone floor with every step she took. As the door shut, I found myself alone in the auditorium and alone, once more, with my thoughts.

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