Chapter Nine

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I am sad and I am hurting. It's a strange type of sadness. It's like grieving over the death of your favorite character: You knew it was fake the entire time, but it hurts you as if it were real. It's a sadness that seems illogical, but it looms over your head for a while. The events that took place last night, the words that were spat in my face, it only confirmed that there was never such a thing as Colton and Camryn. As friends, as anything. It was all in my head. It was fictional, and I need to get over it.

If only it were that easy.

I've been sitting in my room since I woke up at 11:30 in the afternoon. It is now 4. My mom came into my room and asked if I was okay, and I said of course. Of course I'm okay, I'm just a little hurt. I've dealt with insults my whole life, but never from someone I liked. Yes I liked Colton, shit, I still do, but I shouldn't.

For the past hour he's been throwing shit at my window, telling me to talk to him, "Please open your window," "Let me explain," "Camryn I'm sorry."

Why does he care if I forgive him? I'm nothing but the school's freak. Freak? Really? I'd expect Colton to be more clever. I just wish he'd leave me alone, all he's doing is dragging on my hurt and embarrassment.

"Camryn just open your damn window!" he says louder. I turn the volume of my tv higher. I hear someone else yell something and Colton yells back, "ALRIGHT!" His voice isn't as loud, but it's loud enough for me to hear him say, "I'm not giving up, I'm just leaving because I have to."

I would usually wonder where he's going, but I'm just glad he's leaving. I feel so stupid for being upset over someone I just met. This whole time I thought he could've possibly liked me back, but he didn't. My mind just made it all up and now I'm the only one who's hurt. Having feelings sucks.

After a few minutes I hear a lawn mower outside. I sit up on my bed and look out of my window. I can't see the front lawn, so I need to open the window and look to the right. When I do this, I see Colton mowing his yard. Now he's the one screwing up left and right.

I hate when my neighbors mow their lawns at this time of day. It's when my dad's on his way home from work and it makes him want to clean the yard too. The problem with that is that he always wants me to help him. He thinks of it as time to bond. It's not that I don't like to bond with my dad, but does is have to be while cleaning? And I'm especially not up for it today.

Even if Colton were to finish before my dad gets home, he'd see the difference in grass length and it will drive him crazy, "Camryn, I am a man, and it is a mans job to keep his yard clean," is what he says. So either way, I'm screwed and I'm going to have to clean outside.

About four minutes later there's a knock on my door. I already know who it is. "Come in," I say.

"Cam, get ready, we're doing the lawn." And he's gone. Ugh, not today. I don't feel like getting ready to clean. What does that even mean "get ready"?

I am ready, I'm in shorts and a t-shirt.

I drag myself to my bathroom and throw my hair into a ponytail and wet my face with cold water. Why can't my mom help him outside. "That's what my husband and daughter are for," is what I've heard a million times.

I meet my dad in the garage but he hasn't opened it yet, he's still tying his work shoes. And by 'work', I mean expensive shoes that are now old and he doesn't care to dirty. While turning around to press the button to open the garage, I pull my phone out. I always need to listen to music when I clean or else I'll get distracted.

"What the heck," my dad says. I turn around and look outside. Colton is mowing our yard. He hasn't noticed us watching him and I just want him to stop, why is he doing this? The look on my dad's face tells me he wants him to stop too, but that's because my dad is weird.

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