Popularity for Dummies

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You know when you love something so much that you literally can't live without it?

That you literally, mentally, physically can't function without that one thing in your life?

That you could be having the worst day in your life and that thing could still put a smile on your face?

Nah, me neither.

I wish I did, though. All my family are those kind of obsessive people, who have one massive passion in life. Something that they adore, that they swear by each and every day.

My brother, his is tennis. I try and play tennis? Well, let's just day that I'm a danger to myself, and anyone within about a mile's radius.

My older sister? Oboe. I tried the whole "I'm going to be a musical prodigy and practice everyday and get a music scholarship to a famous music school and compose a million operas and be rich" thing back in year three. The fact that I broke my clarinet after owning it for three weeks may have been a sign. My parents definitely took it as one; after that I was told that "Maybe you should wait until you're older to start music lessons" (Never touched a clarinet again) and "Maybe you should stay away from your sister's oboe (Never allowed in her room again).

My darling little younger sister? Chess, if you can believe it. And no, I did not try that one. Well I went to chess club, but that was strictly on a 'they give out free sweets' basis. I still get nightmares about being beaten in ten moves by people three years younger than me.

And the parents are both waving the healthy eating flag. A typical conversation at breakfast between me and my parents is,

Parent: "You should eat breakfast, it's good for you"

Me: "Okay, pass me a chocolate bar"

Parent: "Chocolate isn't good for you, eat some museli"

Me: "Sure, I'll have some museli. I know, why don't I have a museli bar. Then, I can easily throw it in the bin the next time your back is turned!!" (Insert trademark sardonic smile here)

Parent: "You used to be such a nice kid"

Me: "Go eat some celery"

It's sad. My sparkling wit is wasted on the idiots that call themselves my family. I know that out there, somewhere, there is an ideal person who understands me for who I am, and appreciates my sharp sense of humour, and all that jazz.

Until then, however, I am doomed to walk the unhallowed halls of Princeton Academy. Followed, of course by my ever-present horde of faithful followers and obsessed fans. Oh wait, that's in an alternate universe where things are as they are supposed to be and genius is recognised.... -cough- me -cough-.

I suppose you could say that I'm a loser, but that would mean that everyone else at school is a winner. Which would make the world a very sad place indeed.

Anyway, the whole point of this is to win a bet with one of my loser friends, Janice. Janice, being a complete sceptic, felt that I couldn't get myself noticed by the cool kids in town. The kind that can hang around anywhere, doing anything and still make it look good.

And, well with my stubborn-ness and Janice's ability to be extremely aggravating whilst talking in monotone and looking bored, we somehow managed to make a bet on it.

I mean, when I first said it, it was a mere, innocent comment. Nothing meant by it. But then, the more I thought about it the more I realised that, really, with a bit of makeup and some skin tight clothing, I could be noticed. Hell, I could be accepted.

Which is how my hot headedness got me stuck in a £100 wager that I, Eve Keheller, couldn't become one of the it - kids. And also started the most eventful year of my life.

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