Wingless and Beautiful

Chapter 12

“It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”  - The Fault in Our Stars, now in theatres!

Chapter Twelve

“Are you okay?”  Chaise asked me in a gentle tone.

I couldn’t speak, afraid that if I do, I would either cry or shout at him… at Hunter.  I gave him a slight nod and a gentle push.  Chaise looked down at me and studied my face.

“Why are you crying?  Did he make you cry?”  He asked.  There was alarm in his voice, as if he was ready to run after Hunter and throw him over if I said yes.

I faked a laugh.  “No, silly.  I was just glad that you guys finally came back for us.”  That was a stupid lie.  But I can’t tell Chaise the truth.  Not yet.  He will be devastated and I… owed him so much… I owed him my life.

But on the other hand… Hunter… he is devastated because he thought I didn’t wait.  Before he left, he never really knew how I felt for him.  I didn’t tell him that he stole my heart and took it with him when he went away.  He asked me to wait.  But he never got my response.  He didn’t know I promised myself to wait for the day he would come back to me.

Chaise looked at me with a serious expression on his face.  I felt uneasy because I suspected that he was trying to read me.  Suddenly, I felt a tug on my necklace.  When I looked down, I saw that he was holding my pendant in his hand, feeling the inscriptions with his fingers.  I immediately snatched it away from him.  He was staring at me with narrowed eyes, shielding his thoughts from me.   

I stepped away from him and turned to Denise.  “Are we all set to go?” 

She smiled at me and nodded.  “Get your bag.  We’re leaving.”

When we went out of the house, Hunter was already sitting on the boat, waiting for us to come aboard.  He was staring ahead towards the direction of the main house, refusing to look at us at all.  Denise climbed in and sat beside her cousin.  I sat beside her and Chaise climbed on to the seat opposite us.

Hunter started the engine and we all endured the next fifteen minutes in silence.  Each and every one of us was lost in our own thoughts.  Chaise was looking at the scenery behind us.  He didn’t look me in the eye.  Hunter was looking ahead towards the main house, concentrating on maneuvering the boat.  I was simply looking at anything except my three companions.  Denise was looking at each of our faces, trying to figure out for herself what was going on.

When we reached the main house, I immediately went to our room and locked myself in the bathroom.  I took a hot shower and there, I cried the tears that I have been holding back since Chaise and Denise walked in on Hunter and me.

I tried to replay all my moments with Hunter since he came to school.  The first time he bumped into me, he looked right through me.  He didn’t recognize me at all.  And he immediately gave me a cold shoulder from that very first moment.  He didn’t see me with Chaise until after his incident with Don Winston and even before that, he was already acting like he didn’t know who I was and couldn’t care less.  How could he say that he was mad at me because I didn’t wait for him… and that I broke his heart? 

Chaise is only a good friend.  When I confronted Hunter in the halls, he told me that I was Chaise’s girlfriend. But even before that day… he was already ignoring me, hating me.  When did he realize who I was to think that I was seeing somebody else while he was gone?

I was waiting for Hunter all this time.  I was repelling Chaise and rejecting his feelings even when Hunter was ignoring me.  I was still holding a torch for Hunter.  But he already judged me without even knowing the truth.  Was that how shallow he thought I was?  Was that how weak he perceived my feelings for him were?