The Tables Have Turned

Chapter 29

I wasn’t feeling anything.

After what Alex just did, I should feel pain, anger, betrayal, hatred… But I didn’t. I was numb. It was like I wasn’t able to feel.

Maybe I was too shocked, I thought at first, but I knew that wasn’t it. I guess I should’ve expected this. I couldn’t expect Alex to start loving me again after all that I did two years ago.

I wasn’t shocked. It just didn’t sink in yet.

When I start to feel his absence, I will start to feel pain.

I was sitting on my own in that secluded spot in school. I wanted to go back to class after break time. I wasn’t going to skip because being alone won’t do me any good. I was just worried about seeing him in class again.

Would seeing him make me realize what happened? Will I feel the pain when I look into his blue eyes and find hatred instead of love? Will I break down in front of everyone?

No, I told myself. I won’t let him see me break down.

With that in mind, I stood up as soon as the bell rang and went up to class. I felt people gazing at me but I didn’t look at them till I reached my classroom.

Once there, I breathed a sigh of relief. I took my books for the next period out of my cubby and made sure to keep a blank face on.

Ah back to the old days, I thought, acting, blank face, no weaknesses.

I sat in my chair and stared at the door, waiting for the teacher to come in and start a new lesson.

On the outside I probably looked nonchalant but on the inside I was still in the same state of mixed emotions.

Suddenly, two arms were wrapped around my shoulders and I looked up to see Paul looking down at me.

“Hey,” I said, forcing a smile.

“You want to leave?” He asked. “I’ll take you somewhere.”

“Why would I want to leave?” I asked. “I don’t like skipping, anyway.”

He looked uncertain and I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

“You don’t have to act like everything’s okay,” He said. “What Alex did was horrible.”

“What he did was fair,” I replied. Even if it hurt me, it was what I did two years ago to him. Why can I do it and he can’t?

“How is it fair?!” Paul asked incredulously.

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