Cannot Believe // Lams

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AN: Someone please suggest a better title, I suck at coming up with those. Also I'd like to mention that Alex is taller than John in almost all my fics. Also this sucks really bad, sorry friends.

"I just cannot believe that you did that." John sat on the couch with his face in his hands.

Alex was standing in the doorway, his busted lip dripping blood down his chin. "It was Jefferson,"

"Of course it was Jefferson!! It's always Jefferson! Why do you hang around with him if you hate him so much?!"

"I don't hang out with him, I just bumped into him in the hallway and he said some things and I started a fight."

John was on his feet now, turned angrily in Alex's direction. "All you ever do is fight," he yelled through gritted teeth. "You come back at least once a week with a bloody face and expect me to patch you up!"

Alex bit his lip, fighting tears. He hated when John got mad at him. "You don't have to do anything for me, John. Just forget I even came here."

Alex turned on his heel and left, and instantly John regretted his words. He rushed out the door after Alex and yelled down the hall, "I didn't mean it, Alex, please come back,"

Alex looked back at him ruefully. "Do you even want me there? I'll go,"

John got the sense he was talking about something other than this argument alone. "I'm sorry, come back, I need you,"

Alex's eyes widened. It was entirely true; John was only alive because Alex helped him with his depression. He relied completely on Alex for emotional stability, and when he was without the man John started to fall apart. Alex, no matter how mad at John he was, never wanted to hear him say that he needed him. Alex didn't want John's life to rest on Alex's petty actions.

Alex stifled the sob mounting in his throat. That was his John, his, and he couldn't stand to see him upset. He headed wordlessly back inside the dorm.

John shut the door quietly as Alex headed into the bathroom to wash off the blood. John stepped inside before Alex could turn the water on, and whispered, "Let me,"

John wiped the blood carefully from Alex's bottom lip and watched the cut as a few more drops slid down his chin. Alex whimpered almost inaudibly, but John was quick to notice it.

"Does it hurt that bad? Did he hit you somewhere else?"

"No....." Alex looked down at his feet. "I just...."

John put a hand under Alex's chin and lifted his head. "You just what?"

Alex lunged forward and slammed his mouth onto John's, holding the kiss for just a brief second before pulling back. He quickly took the rag and wiped the blood that was left on John's face, his own features distraught and fearful.

"I-I'm sorry, John,"

John stared at him emotionlessly.

"Oh, come on, John, please say something. Be mad at me! Hit me! Do something,"

John pressed his body firmly to Alexander's and held the other man's wrists to the wall as he kissed him roughly. "I'd never hit you,"

Alex felt tears slipping down his cheeks and he didn't want John to stop. However, he tried to get away, wishing to respect John's boundaries.

John gave him a small lopsided smile. "Why are you trying to leave?" His grin faded a bit. "Is this too much?"

"No, I want it. I want it too much, and I just made you mad. I'm sorry,"

"It was stupid of me to get mad. I just want to protect you,"

Alex smiled softly. "So can I kiss you again?"

"Of course. I need you,"

Alex's gaze hardened. "No, John, no you don't. You don't need anyone. You're the strongest person I know, and you should never need me. I don't want you to get hurt because I go and do something stupid,"

John pressed into Alex's chest and tried to get him closer. It was nearly impossible as their bodies were almost intertwined, but Alex tightened his grip around John nonetheless.

"Alex,"

"Shh, Peaches, I've got you, I've got you,"

John felt inexplicable pressure building up in his chest and the words came pouring out. "I'm so sorry Alex I'm not really mad at you I just don't want you to get hurt and it's so hard when you're not always around and you're at work not that it's not important because it's really important but you get into so many fights and it's not good for you and I love you so much but it's so hard please Alex please understand I just want you here, I just want you safe,"

"J-John, did you say you loved me?"

John blushed a deep red and started to pull away.

"I love you too,"

John looked up at him and turned even redder. "Then can you do something for me?"

"What is it?"

John pressed his mouth gently to Alex's neck and he shivered slightly. "Can you call me yours?"

"M-Mine,"

"Again, please,"

Alex gripped John's waist, digging his nails in slightly. "Mine," he growled.

"Are you going to try to avoid fighting?"

"I won't have time to fight when I'm spending my time with the most important person,"

John's cheeks turned pale pink, mingling with his freckles. "Can we have one night a week where we eat dinner together or something? I miss you,"

"Make it more like six nights. I spend more time with Jefferson than the love of my life,"

John laughed and elbowed him gently. "Cut it out,"

"Never," Alex pressed his mouth to John's ear. "I love you, I love you, I love you,"

"Let's just forget all of this and go to bed,"

"Yes, dear,"

Alex led John to his bed and started to lay down in his own when he found John was standing next to him.

"Do you want to come sleep with me?"

Alex took John's hand and pulled him into the mattress, curling around him and hugging him close. "I,"

"No, Alex, no more promises. Just lay here with me,"

Alex nodded and watched John fall asleep before falling asleep too.

AN: Well that was intense and I'm not sure where I was going with it. Anyway, I feel closer to writing sin with every chapter so if I get a sin request I will definitely do that. Peace and another emotion of your choice,

Wolf
(1096 words)

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