Life After Loss : The Universe Awaits

The Universe Awaits

I'm just gonna come right out and say it, get it out there and get the shock of it over with up front.

I lost my balls at the age of fifteen.

I know, a heck of a way to start a story. But it's my story and I figured it best I just get right to the point. No need to pad it with a long pointless intro.

Once you've picked your jaw up off the floor you'll be wondering how it happened. Well, it was a dirt bike accident, three weeks before summer break.

My dirt bike, or off-road motorcycle as some call it, was a 110CC, liquid cooled, two-stroke beast of a machine. Okay, if you know anything about dirt bikes you're probably laughing right now at how I called such a small cycle a beast. Well, we all thought that. We loved our bikes and with the things me and my buddies did with them, we thought they were pretty amazing.

Anyways, that fateful day, I was wearing my helmet and had good shoes on, but otherwise just shorts and a tee-shirt. I was riding at a high rate of speed down an old county road in bad need of repaving, on my way to the old abandoned quarry to meet my buddies, when it happened.

That quarry is the greatest place in the world to ride dirt bikes. Several of the guys from school had dirt bikes and that's where we could always find each other. That place has so many different places you could get a bike airborne, it felt like you spent more time in the air than on the ground when you were there.

The problem is, that day, I never made it to the quarry. I did go airborne, but my bike did not. Like I said, I was traveling at a high rate of speed. I was in a hurry to get there, when I hit a pothole in the road.

The front tire of my bike went down into the hole, then immediately rode up, but the jolt caused my bike to almost stop its forward momentum. I, however, continued forward, over the fuel tank. The previously damaged aluminum fuel cap tore open my scrotum and ripped into my penis as well.

As I flew over the handlebars one testicle was ripped clean away from my body and the other popped as I landed.

Where this accident occurred was near a curve in the narrow road and when I went flying, I ended up off the edge of the road. I landed in a pasture, almost clearing a barbed wire fence at the edge of the road.

Almost, mostly, but not completely.

My upper body made it across the fence but my other ball was impaled by a barb, and popped, as my bottom half landed on the fence.

Other than the mutilation of my genitals, my legs and arms were scraped up and I had several bruises, along with ending up face first in a pile of cow dung.

Aside from that, I had no broken bones or any other serious injuries.

I was in the hospital for over a week. The surgeons repaired my penis and stitched up my empty scrotum. I was offered implant testicles - small plastic eggs that would ride in my scrotum, but they couldn't be inserted until after the initial injury had healed.

The doctor said, while my penis was heavily scarred, with a course of androgens (male hormones) and the assistance of Viagra to stiffen me, I could possibly, hopefully maybe function sexually, although I would never father children.

When I got back to school it was to be as if nothing happened, but with an active rumour mill, it was soon public knowledge that I was an accidental eunuch.

Before the accident I had been a regular guy: Good looking enough, sporty without being ripped, and not smart enough to be considered a nerd. I had a group of close friends, and a girlfriend, Sophie. After the injury everybody pitied me, which drove me crazy. The guys tried to involve me, and Sophie kept dating me, but we never had sex again.