Selfish Requests: Levi Ackerman x Reader (SnK/AOT)

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I wake up to a light knocking on my door and a deep voice, "Let me in, shitty brat."

The clock beside my bed stand reads 4:00 A.M., an entire hour earlier than I am supposed to wake up to prepare for the expedition. I consider not opening the door and salvaging the extra hour, but with the person that's behind that door, it probably isn't going to happen.

For comfort and protection against the winter cold, I drag my blanket along with me as I open the door to see the man I suspected it to be: Levi Ackerman. But instead of his regular pristine look, he is dressed in a messy, half-buttoned shirt and no signature cravat.

"Well come in Levi, don't just stand out here in the cold." I motion to the inside of my room while holding the door open for him. "By the way, I'm not shitty brat, I'm your girlfriend you idiot."

"Yeah you bet your lucky ass you're my girlfriend or else I would've given you extra chores for calling me an idiot." Levi retorts, already sitting on my bed.

"Funny. Last time I heard, I am the same rank as you, 'Corporal'." I mock him. "Now, what are you really here for?"

Levi stays silent for a bit and although most would not see his slight change in expression, I could. I plod towards him and throw half of my blanket around his shoulder so that we are both engulfed in its warmth. He leans a bit closer to me, non-verbally showing his appreciation.

I wrap my arms around him underneath the blanket, letting him know that I am beside him. Based on his facial expression, I already know what he is thinking of; it is the face of a man who just relived some of his worst memories, the guilt and depression eating him alive at this very moment.

"Levi, it's okay. Nobody blames you." I soothe, my hand rubbing his back gently. He slumps a bit more, relaxing into my touch.

"If I didn't leave, they might still be here," he mutters, his voice cracking as tears well up in his eyes, hands clenched in a fist.

Every time this happens, I massage his fists so it unwinds itself of the tension. This time is no different.

In fact, these episodes occur quite often since the Special Ops Squad perished in the failed attempt at capturing Annie. But, this time is a lot worse; I haven't seen him cry since that night. It must be because today will be his first expedition since the incident.

I wipe the tears trailing down face as I try to console him, "No, you might not be alive if you were there. I'm sure they are all glad that you aren't in heaven with them."

Levi lifts his face a bit, the moonlight shining on his face, accentuating the fresh tears that roll down. At this moment, the strong Levi that ruthlessly commands cadets to scrub the floors ten times is not present. Rather, he is replaced by a vulnerable man that has lost almost everything he treasures.

"Don't go." he suddenly says to me, gripping my shoulders tightly, the blanket falling off both of our shoulders.

"What do you mean, Levi?" I ask confused by his request. 

"Don't go on the expedition today. I don't want to lose you." he says again to clarify.

I look at him bewildered. Is he that afraid? Is he willing to risk the lives of others just so that he can be happy?

I gently slap his cheeks with both of my hands to knock some sense into him.

"I can't do that. I have a squad to command." I say slowly as if I were speaking to a toddler who hasn't quite grasped reality yet.

"I know, but let me be selfish this one time. I don't know what I would do if I lost you as well." Levi pleads to me, his grip on my shoulders tightening even more.

Levi is not a reckless man. He must already know the consequences of his options: if I go, then there is always a risk of me dying, but if I don't go, then the chances of my squad surviving will decrease significantly.

My squad does not have people with above average abilities like the Special Ops Squad. In fact, my squad is quite the opposite. They are filled with misfits or those who are lacking in some aspect but have the potential to succeed. My purpose is to foster those hidden talents so that they can join in with other squads without endangering everyone.

"You squad isn't like the Special Ops Squad, [Reader's name]. Your squad puts you at a higher risk of endangerment." Levi says.

"You're right, and that makes it even more so my responsibility that I protect them to the best of my ability. You know better than anyone else what it's like to lose an entire squad." I tell him, hitting his anxieties at the very core. Hopefully, it will be enough to convince him.

Levi closes his eyes for a bit, releasing a deep sigh. We remain silent for awhile until Levi opens them once more. This time, his eyes are back to normal and no more remnants of his fears are present.

"You're right. I'm sorry for being irrational, I shouldn't have asked you to do something as shitty as abandoning your squad."

As he says this, he unwraps his arms from around me and gets up from the sanctuary of my bed. His light footsteps make its way towards my door.

"I never really say this, but thank you, and I love you." Levi leaves me to mull over his last words before going out the door.

"No... thank you for supporting me and giving me encouragement to survive." I whisper fondly before lying down on my bed once again, but with a smile on plastered on my face.

A/N: If you like this one shot, please don't forget give it a voteAlso, I'm open to requests! If you're interested, please take a look at the description for more info! 

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