Hurts Like Heaven

Chapter 8 - Feelings Are Intense, Words Are Trivial

***KARA***

Okay. So Barry tells me he thinks he might have gotten me pregnant, then I see another version of myself with a different cute boyfriend. What kind of day has it been? Perhaps the strangest one since...I don't know when, honestly. At least the one when, instead of helping him and Cisco rebuild Central City after that black-hole incident above downtown, I wound up joining him on a cross-country trip to Gotham.

Days with Barry are always strange, it's true.

As I'm heading down to meet with my other self and this Mon-El guy, I see Conner tearing past me extremely fast, faster than even I or Clark have ever managed, I think.

I hope Other Me isn't that scary. How can she be? I'm convinced it's all but impossible for any iteration of Kara Zor-El to scare anyone who's good of heart. Just ask Barry too. So maybe it wasn't Other Me. But Mon-El? He looks cute and sweet, but he's an unknown quantity yet. I'll have to exercise caution...

...except when I finally join him and Other Me in the observation room as they watch the interrogation in progress, my heightened instincts tamp down. Seriously, I can't be afraid of my own counterpart, and Mon has such an easygoing smile, it's hard to believe Other Me has anything but my kind of taste in men.

"Hi," Mon says with a small wave. "Another Kryptonian to witness this increasing..." He pauses awkwardly.

"Shit show," says Other Me. "You don't need to hold in your cussing in front of my other self, you know." She nudges me lightly and stage-whispers, "He's always looking for opportunities to practice with people besides Winn and James. They taught him all the best swears."

"And I still think Winn's holding back," says Mon.

"Oh yeah, like you thought after you met him on Earth-3?"

Mon laughs out loud and shakes his head. "We didn't meet Winn on Earth-3! That was Barry, and he was my boyfriend over there!"

Now it's my turn to laugh out loud. It's just so odd to imagine any version of Barry dating anyone who isn't me - you should've seen my reaction when I found out Earth-2 Barry was seeing Caitlin Snow. I kept myself under control as best I could, but still, inside, I was ROFLing to rival Barry or Cisco or Winn at their biggest geek-out times. Hell, I'm sure Conner could geek out just as majorly given half a chance. It must be a guy thing. And they say girls are supposed to be more emotional, at least among humans. But then again, as human as I'm look, I'm not. So who even knows if Barry could possibly have gotten me pregnant? It's all unknown territory at this point.

Though I just hope Cisco doesn't try and use it as an excuse to conduct any kind of experiments, especially none of the invasive kind. Lest we forget, he did help keep Barry more or less alive when he was in his nine-month coma before waking up as The Flash, so it's not like being invasive is out of his nature. With Caitlin, I suppose it wouldn't be so bad, because she's a doctor and has that kind of training. And worse, because don't doctors have to examine a whole bunch of cadavers in med school?

"What's so funny?" asks Other Me.

"Ehh, nothing," I say after realizing how much I'm laughing. "Just thinking about cadavers."

"Like what you probably wanna turn this guy into with your heat vision, am I right?" Mon jerks his thumb through the window to the interrogation room.

"Careful," I tease him. "I might turn you into a cadaver."

"What for?"

"For suggesting I use my powers for evil instead of good."

Other Me nudges me a little harder. "Hey, sweetheart, bear in mind, this is my love you're threatening."

"Oh, sorry..." With an airy shrug of the kind I learned from Cat Grant, I pretend not to take her seriously. "Believe me, the last thing I wanna do is piss off another me."

Other Me exchanges knowing glances and chuckles with Mon, then says, "Actually, if you're anything like me, the last thing you wanna do is Lena Luthor." She shudders at the thought, a gesture she probably learned from her version of Cat. I'm pretty sure Cat would be the one universal constant on every single Earth there is.

"Is Kon-El still there?" Lex Luthor asks from the other side of the glass.

I don't know if Conner talked to him, but in spite of myself, I go ahead and do exactly that, hitting the intercom button and saying, "No, he's gone on a bathroom break. We Kryptonians do that too, in case you didn't know." I narrow my eyes at him, even though he can't see me. "Or do you? You probably made him piss himself thousands of times-"

"Is that how lowly you think of me?" asks Luthor.

His interrogation panel of Other Barry, Jax, and Jesse all nod, chiming in with variations on "Uh-huh" and "Yeah, sure."

"You're so prejudiced," Luthor comments. "It's because you're all friends with Superman, isn't it?" He scoffs. "He's not gonna be there for you forever, you know."

"Neither are we," says Jesse. "Doesn't stop us caring for those we share this world with while we're here."

I pound one of my fists into my open palm. "I like her."

"I do too," says Other Me. "She's always been a great friend. Not like her dad."

"Her dad's a jackass," Mon says baldly.

Remembering the few times I've met Harry Wells, I nod. "Not gonna argue that point."

"Are you gonna pretend like we don't care about keeping you alive too?" asks Jax. "Listen, man, not liking something ain't the same as not caring about it."

"So now I'm something, not someone?"

"Like you haven't done the same to Conner all these years," I point out again on the intercom. I almost feel like this interrogation is going nowhere. If I were in the room, maybe we'd get better results? Though someone would probably try to restrain me so I couldn't cut as loose on Luthor as I would like. Clark, don't even try, please. Besides, I bet only Diana could do it anyway. She's the toughest cookie I know, and the sweetest too. Sorry, Barry.

Other Barry turns my way, as if hearing my thoughts, before telling Luthor, "She's right. You're not gonna leave with what you came for."

"Who says I'm gonna leave with anyone?"

Everyone else looks blank, but only on the other side of the glass. I turn to Mon and Other Me, though, and they look shocked.

"Goddammit!" Mon cries. "How did we not see this coming?"

"What are you talking...?" Then it dawns on me too. "He's not the only Luthor here. There's our Lex too, isn't there?"

"You sure?" asks Other Me. "'Cause I wouldn't have had him in mind."

Mon nods tersely. "Friggin' Lena."

If I had anything in my hand, I'd drop it as I run after Conner, wherever he may be.