Dormition

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Sitting I am in a room lit by light

And by dim words, dying and romantic;

And by the thought of you I hold on tight

The thought that you could still be here.

Dim words, dying, romantic

Consume me,

My very existence tears me apart

And rips open gape emptyness

Inside my heart.


Nothing brings me pleasure

Nothing brings me pain.

My blood rushes as I see

That I've been answered to

But it all boils to one thing

And no matter how poetic it'll

End up, how I wish I could hide

In a remote corner of the world

And cower and cry,

As tears only burn in solitude


Each moment of breath

Seems to me like a hollow pit

In which I writhe and weep.

I feel myself drowning,

Losing my very breath


Romantic and weak

Narrowminded, I wander

Through the desert.

Succesful and loved

Yet nothing brings me pleasure,

Nothing brings me pain


The incapacity of sleeping

Tears me open, gaping

Time itself weeps in me

And Jesus shrugs at the joke he says

He's protecting.

I feel myself wither away.


I don't know what I feel

Neither what I wish for or what's in me.

The absurdity of my feelings make me

Want to separate myself,

Be far away and bottle up.



I feel tempted to live

Yet no matter how many times I tried

To separate myself from this world,

The distance inbetween did little more than make me see

How truly close I am to her.

As such I do want to live, give love

And to shine, beacause that is what is

Inside me.


I wish you would remember me as you did once

What was once my sun.

I don't shine as do you

And your absence left a hole in my heart

The size of the moon.

Paradoxally, I feel emptyness

And in the same so much energy and hope

So much love and kindness.


I wish you'd remember me

And know what I feel

But not me myself

Just the inherently unpoetic way

I feel for you. The way I fell for you

And still don't forget you up until today

Unslept night by unslept night

Distracted class by distracted class

Rejected meal by rejected meal

Lost weight by lost weight

But never tear by tear

Never sadness, beacause your thought

Brings me light and warmth.


The world and all its tragedies

And its plenitude of shape

Throws me in disarray


In the storm that is my heart

I feel lost, as in a bitter sway;

In the grave that is my bed,

I feel myself wither away.

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