Chapter 1

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(1 year before my death)

Miami International Airport

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Miami International Airport. I was finally getting the hell away from here. Starting fresh as a transfer student to Northeastern University in Boston. Boston has the one thing I actually loved - snow. It was city living without the extreme hustle and bustle fast living of places like New York City.

I hated flying. Not the actual flight but the whole nonsense of checking in luggage, waiting around, lots of people, security and the noise. I hated it all. Once I was on the plane I was fine. I didn't have a fear of flying. My fathers business took us across the globe. I strategically picked a window seat. I loved looking out at the clouds and as we glided in the air over the beautiful water. I reclined my seat just enough to be comfortable but not enough to be an ass to the person behind me. I grabbed my neck pillow and propped it behind me, slipped on my Beats headphones and zoned out to my playlist.

..See my dreams unfold, nightmares come true.... Meek you have no idea. I listen in my happy place looking out the window, trying to contain myself when that beat drops .. Hold up, wait a minute y'all thought I was finished.... this is my 3rd time listening to this in a row. Safe to say it's my anthem right now. It spoke to me on so many different levels. People had so many ideas of who they think I am but what I show on the surface is light years away from being my story. And what a hell of a story it is but later for that. I take in the view of the water as we fly over head. I could stay up here forever. Maybe I missed my calling as a flight attendant....Nah, I would hate having to put on a fake smile and have people begging for peanuts 'take your peanuts bitch and shut the fuck up I'm trying to enjoy the view'...i laugh to myself. I'm a social introvert. I hate people but always had friends. Who would have guessed I'd switch my major to social science. I'm going to make a career of having to talk to the very people I avoid. But that was because of my upbringing. I'm really going into this to give hope to those who lost it all. I never trusted anyone enough to seek help. And I needed plenty of it but when you fake perfect for so long you kind of trick yourself into believing it.

"Folks, we have begun our descent over historic Boston, Massachusetts, where the weather is a sunny 75 degrees at Logan airport. We will be pulling up to the gate in about 20 minutes. Our lovely flight attendants will instruct you from here. Thank you for flying Jet Blue". The captains voice was deep and he spoke in a sing song voice.

It was Labor Day weekend. The beginning of September in Boston could be hot summer heat or cool fall breeze. I loved all of it. After getting off the plane and getting my bags from baggage claim I pulled my phone out of my pocket. My right hand full I press down on the home button with my left and speak into the phone "Siri, call Tania". Calling Tania...after a few rings Tania answers.

"Bitchhhhh are you here yet? Like did you fucking walk from Miami?" I laugh. She is crazy as hell.

"I'm here" I answered. "Where are you?"

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