Chapter Thirty Six: A Superior

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As soon as my unconscious mother had landed back onto the ship, the medics had rushed her off to look after her, and I had no choice but to follow. I was far too distracted by the situation at hand to notice where my friends had gone, so I could only hope that Poe had managed to control the situation unfolding. Not that I really cared about anything that was happening outside my mother's room.

The thought of losing both of my parents in such a short space of time hurt so badly, and all I could do was try not to fall apart over it. Whilst the medics tended to her, I sat outside in the corridor, feeling like a little kid. I'd been away from everything for so long, cutting myself off on Jakku, and it didn't seem fair that now I was back I was losing people again. I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come, so instead I rested my forehead on my knees, trying to control my breathing as I wrapped my jacket around myself tightly, imagining it was a hug from my father, something I wanted so badly in that moment.

I managed to reach a point of moderate calm, and as I closed my eyes, I saw the images of the island once more, though this time it was a comfort. To be anywhere but the Raddus seemed ideal, and even the sight of my Uncle sat outside his hut lit only by the stars and the moonlight was a comfort, feeling a sad smile creep onto my face. Any anger I felt towards him had disappeared, especially as I realised he may be my only real family left.

"Are you alright?" he asked frowning in compassion, and I wondered just how much of a wreck I looked.

"Please come home now?" I had no idea how to answer his question and so instead asked my own, my voice shaking as I tried to keep my focus, despite wanting nothing more than to break down into tears. "I need you, Uncle Luke. We all need you, Erika and Izzy need their teacher, though neither of them would admit it, I need my Uncle, and Mum needs her brother,"

"The Antilles' are still alive?" Luke breathed out in surprise, raising one of his eyebrows, and I couldn't help but scoff that those two were the ones he picked up on my mentioning, not me or his twin sister. "What are they now, master pilots?"

"The best in the fleet, after Poe," I told him, realising he'd only asked me about the twins to distract me from everything else going on, trying to take my mind off the chaos at hand, and part of me was grateful for it. "Iz and Eri are in his squadron, they make quite a team,"

"Shara Dameron was the best pilot in the rebellion fleet so it makes sense her son would also be the best," Uncle Luke mused, and I could see he was remembering back to the war, thinking of all his old friends from the old days. "As for the Antilles' girls, teachers aren't meant to pick favourites, but they were up there, they were my most promising students, after you and..."

"Ben," I finished for him, and our eyes met in an expression of awkward grief. "I told myself I'd hate him after everything. The academy, becoming Snoke's apprentice, the First Order, my Dad, but I just... I can't. He was up there during the attack, and I could feel his every emotion, and it was like he was in pain,"

"Luci, the boy he used to be, he's gone," Luke insisted, and though I shook my head in denial, he continued, "There are so many things I wish I had done differently, but we cannot change the past,"

"No but we can fix it with the future," I tried, cocking my head to the side slightly as I watched his face, trying to read his expression.

"The last time we spoke you said you had questions," Luke said, changing the conversation completely, and though it irritated me, I also wanted him to help me figure myself out.

"They can wait," I shook my head, deciding far too much had happened since we last spoke, and it would be selfish of me to turn the conversation just onto me. "How's Rey?"

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 16, 2020 ⏰

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