Katherine's World - Part 2 - Chapter 3

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In retrospect I never really stood a chance. Not against fame, not against depression and definitely not against Jake.

It started on a Tuesday. I'm sure of this now because Tuesdays were table reading days and as much as I loved the way my job pulled me away from a darkness that I knew left to its own devices would probably consume me complete me, Tuesdays were the one day a week I felt that my time was being utterly wasted.

I was 16 and on the cusp of the type of fame that usually coincided with a breakdown. Once a week, my face disguised as that of Megan Beasly's, graced the TVs of roughly 8 million people across the globe. And 4 – 7 days a week, my face without the persona of Megan Beasly to hide behind, seemed to feature in every other magazine, web page and celebrity gossip panel, and each and every one of those times without my consent. Maybe I had done something wrong this week, or maybe I had done something right. Maybe I'd given that homeless man on the corner of Beverly and saint too little change or maybe I had smiled sweetly at a fan who was having a particularly rough time. Either way it was being recorded, and not by me. I belonged to a bunch of people I didn't even know.

I opened my eyes and focused on the seat right in front of me. The seat that was holding my driver Damien. Damien was as constant a fixture in my life as the middle-aged men who hid in the bushes with cameras outside every "it" restaurant in Hollywood. He was the guy who who took me to sets, acting classes, workout sessions, and everywhere else would take them. Basically, if there was somewhere that I needed to be that someone's mom would normally drive them to, Damien would take me there. And a bit like any parent, purely because of spending soooo much time with me, he knew my likes and my dislikes and he could sense my wants and my needs without me ever having to say a word.

On this particular day I was faced with 12 hours on set of establishing and re-establishing a few scenes without actually physically acting them out, and I was dreading out. Twelve more hours of pretending that all was well in the life of Kathryn Sparks , and the closer we pulled towards the studio , the sweatier my palms got. And somehow, as if he could magically sense it, I found us taking the right turn at main street instead of the left one that would take us to the set and pulling in to a drive through Starbucks. Damien was a good guy.

"Alright people! So what's gonna happen in this week's episode is Megan is going to have her first date and Dave/her dad is going to try everything within his power to interrupt it" Ryan, an executive producer on the show seemed to be straining every vocal chord he had in order to get this message through to a room with the mere number of 16 people in it. "And we've brought in someone very special to help us with this episode. Playing the role of Megan's crush please welcome the star of the upcoming Zombie Slayer trilogy, Jackson Turner". Ryan followed his own advice and began to clap as loudly as if both Nelson Mandela and Barack Obama had just arrived in the room, the rest of the cast and crew politely followed, except me that is. I was very focused on two very bright and very blue round dots across the room. Dots that I had only seen up close once before when my freckles were still considered as a cute asset instead of a flaw that needed to be basted over with foundation and I had seen boys as potential friends or potential enemies but never in my wildest dreams, as lovers. Jake was my co-star in a candy commercial back then, and even though we had liked each other enough to maintain a virtual acquaintanceship of DM'd Happy Birthday's and texted Merry Christmases, we weren't really friends. So much so that he hadn't even bothered to tell me that he would be guest starring on the show that I spent half my life working on and that I had forgotten how very blue and how very bright his eyes were in real life.

Jake half-smirked at me when he caught me looking. He was sitting a few seats left to the guy directly opposite me and I wondered how on earth I'd managed not to notice him before. With that blueness as well as his general presence. He had grown a bit as well, he looked like an actual teenager now, before he'd looked like he was still shedding his preteen feathers. I grinned at Jake, showing all my teeth and then put my focus onto the cover page of my script. Ryan now was going off a tangent, loudly flipping pages and just as enthusiastically as he had a=clapped,adding notes feelings, what he did and didn't want to hear. But it's like I was deaf. I mean my eyes were focused on the script and in theory I could hear every word that was being said but it was gibberish. All I could feel was the heat on my face because I could tell that from when Ryan had started talking from somewhere across the table Jake Turner had decided to start looking at me, and throughout the tangents, mountains, and valleys of Ryans speech, he hadn't stopped since.

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