The Opposite Of Good

[6]My Worst Nightmare.

I knew a lot about uncertainty. The doubt, the condition of being uncertain or ambiguousness. Uncertainty was what I felt every time I had to return to a place I used to know as my home.

"Where the hell have you been?" Ben's loud voice bounced echoed in my ears. I had just closed the door, about to tip toe up to my room. Ben was sitting on the kitchen stool, a knife and an apple in front of him. My eyes widened at the blade of the knife which glistened, reflecting the setting sun from the window, almost mocking me.

Uncertainty of coming back to a house with a monster. Hesitantly stepping inside all the time. Wondering what would happen after I've come in and after the eyes of my uncle took me in.

"I won't repeat myself!" He yelled and I froze on the spot. My voice was caught up in my throat and I tried getting it out. I watched in fear as Ben stood up from the stool, taking dangerous steps towards me.

Uncertain of being close to him. Uncertain of what would happen to me. The uncertainty of making it out alive overwhelming all good hope I ever had.

"Answer me dammit!" He yelled louder, making me jump in fright.

The psycho made me afraid. It was the way he looked at me, with so much hatred that I was sometimes uncertain whether he was my real, true, blood uncle.

"I...I"

My voice came out panicked and scared, I was uncertain of what to say. I hated it when Ben saw that I was scared. That was what he wanted, me to be terrified of him and sadly, he was winning. He was winning a game he started.

"Speak!"

"I was with Kate and Leah. We were studying." I lied nervously, hoping that he would buy it. Ben looked at me for a minute before replying.

"Lies!"

|ABUSIVE CONTENT|

"You are fucking lying to me! What the hell is wrong with you!?" He screamed as he backhanded me under my chin. My bottom teeth clenched painfully against my top row teeth as I lost balance. My body landing hard on the cold, hard floor with a loud thump, pain immediately inviting itself on my side.

"No. I swear I'm not," I chocked, pleading with him. His eyes turned darker, looking like dark, empty alleys of midnight. Bottomless pits of dark pools. He grabbed my arm violently, getting me up instantly. His fist connected with my stomach and I groaned in pain. My knees were weak but I didn't fall because Ben held a tight grip on my wrist. I was fearing for my life, he would beat me to death because I was already badly injured from yesterday's events.

He punched my stomach again, no sound coming from me this time. I was uncertain if I had become used to the pain or my voice was stuck. My body was hanging from his grip on my arm. If he let go, I would fall to the ground really hard. Ben was yelling out things I didn't get anymore. It was like I could hear his loud yelling voice but not register the words at all. I then felt him dragging me, and at this point, my body was giving up on me. I couldn't kick, yell, nor could I scream for help. I was still and quiet, letting him continue with his unceasing torture towards me. I felt him pushing me against a wall, and felt a metal blade cut lightly through my arm.

I let out a pained scream that wasn't as loud as my normal screams, because the reality of the situation just caught up with me. Ben was using a knife on me. My head shot down to my now stinging arm, and saw a trail of blood flowing down, landing on the white kitchen tiles.

"Don't ever lie to me Amara. Ever!" He yelled before letting me go. I immediately slid down to the ground, tears not falling out anymore. I was still shocked. Ben almost killed me. Jw could easily thrust that steel blade through my heart and end me. Was that not what he wanted? Could that be what I wanted? It felt like there was nothing left to live for, because I couldn't even think that I would ever be saved from the abuse. I watched as Ben walked up the staircase, leaving me all bloodied and bruised on the kitchen floor. In unbearable pain... Uncertain of it being emotional or physical. My arm was very painful, the fresh cut mocking me as blood poured out. Lots of blood. I couldn't believe Ben had used a knife on me.

Was Hanna right?

Was Ben's abuse going to kill me one day?

Would the only time I escape him be by my death? I couldn't. I didn't want to die, not in the hands of a sick and twisted man like Ben. I couldn't help but think of how everything would've been so different if my parents were still alive. Firstly, Ben would never have come to live here, and I would be living a life of a normal teenage girl. I wouldn't be getting abused in countless ways by my uncle.

✴

When I woke up six hours later, my body was painful everywhere. I didn't move but I could already feel just how painful it would be if I had to. However I carefully got up from my bed, ignoring the daggers my body was shooting. I took a quick shower and wore dark jeans, dark blue tank top and a dark blue hoodie. It was chilly today. I put on my white converse and put my hair in a messy ponytail, removing strands of brunette hair from my face. I had a big purple bruise under my chin due to Ben's abuse. But I had managed to cover it with make up. All along, my arm that Ben stabbed was throbbing. I managed to put a bandage on last night before I slept. It was much better but hurt more when I moved.

Finally, I grabbed my school bag and slid my phone in the back pocket of my jeans. As always, I stuck my head out the door and looked from left to right, coast was clear. I quickly locked my room and rushed downstairs. When I passed Ben's room, I heard loud snores. I practically ran out the house, desperately trying to create as much distance as I could between him and I. I really didn't think I could carry on thinking about his name anymore.

✴

Lunch time had surprisingly come by so quick. I decided to, for once, get myself some food. I was holding a cheese burger and coke in my hands as I walked back to the table where my friends were sat. I had no idea why the hell I didn't buy something when Kate and Leah did. I guess I told myself that I was good but my stomach didn't agree so much. I opened the coke and took a long, much needed sip.

It happened so fast when I collided with someone. The coke splattered all over their chest. I was instantly sorry to the person I had accidentally poured my coke all over, and their raging voice made it much more worse.

"What the fuck!"

My heart almost stopped when my eyes met with Justin Hazard's angry green eyes. He was shooting daggers at me, my breathing was quickly escalating. Justin Hazard was standing in front of me. My hands started shaking because I had actually insulted this boy before. And now I poured coke all over him, accidentally. But accidentally or not, I didn't think Justin would care. Whatever he was planning against me was now going to be multiplied by 10.

"I..I'm sorry. I'm very sorry...I -" he cut me off.

"You're gonna pay for this also, cakes." His voice came out low and threatening, as usual.

"What?" I found myself saying, completely taken away. "I already said sorry. It was an accident if it still didn't register in your thick head." I covered my mouth, my eyes widening. Why did I keep on talking like this to him? It then came to me that I was a fool. Adding fuel to the fire that was gonna end up killing me. Burning me alive.

I couldn't help but feel the pain in my arm when I moved it. I winced under my breath. Justin glared at me, his eyes turning darker each passing second. He clenched his fists before grabbing my already injured arm and dragging me by it. He pressed on the cut hard with his hand. I involuntarily winced in pain and he turned his head to look at me intently.

I tried moving my arm the moment I felt warm liquid against my skin. I knew that it was now bleeding. Justin let go instantly and looked at his hand. Like I thought it had blood on it. He froze before looking at my bleeding arm, then at my face. I was forced to watch as he figured out all the pieces I've been trying to hide. I've always avoided situations like this. But why did it have to happen with Justin?

He pulled me by uninjured arm, away from people who were now watching us in horror, probably thinking that Justin was the cause of the blood. We stopped behind one of the classes, where it was clear off students. I was clutching my arm with my hand, trying to stop the blood and totally ignoring the pain I felt. All along I felt Justin's heated gaze on me. And I could practically hear all the questions he had for me in his head.