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Dedicate this chapter to rotXinXpieces. You are the best writer and i admire you a lot. Please keep writing.
James and I went to our lockers, him carrying my books, well he technically took them from my hands and wouldn’t give them back until I opened my locker. To my relief, there weren’t any papers taped to my locker. Good.
James carefully placed my books into my locker, not even bothering to give me my books to do that, then opened his and dumped his books inside, slamming his shut.
We walked to the table we sat in on my first day, Melissa already sitting down with a brown bagin front of her. She waved at us, her bangles clanging on her wrists. Her hair was tied into a loose ponytail, a few strands falling out. It didn’t look messy at all, more casual.
James sat right next to Melissa while I went for the empty bench across from them. Melissa grabbed the brown bag and dumped everything on the table. A plastic container, rolled up napkin with a fork, spoon, and plastic knife wrapped inside, coke can, and another container with sliced fruit dropped onto the table. She threw the bag to the side, ripped open the container and began to shovel beef stroganoff into her mouth.
James stared at her in horror, I was amused. You never see a pretty girl practically inhaling food like a hungry beast often. I took out my lunchbox and opened it. Steamed celery with a light coating of mushroom sauce, fried sausages shaped like octopuses (Eh, I was bored and I wanted to be creative), crispy fish chips, and baked chicken so soft, it melts in your mouth with a scatter of chopped parsley. I would know, my mom taught me. I took out my fork and ate, happy it came out well. I hope Aunt Claire enjoys it. I made her lunch too.
“Wow, nice lunch Alan.”
I looked to the side to see Chase sitting right next to me. He reached over and took one of my fish chips, popping it into his mouth. “You make food better than my chef at home and he used to work at a five star restaurant in Italy.” He sucked on his fingers. “Maybe I could fire him and hire you? Either that or I can make you my wife, even though you’re a guy.”
James laughed. “I thought the same.” He swiped a piece of chicken and took a bite. “Best Chicken ever. Man, you have to try it.”
I sighed. I’m not really hungry anyways and I made way too much food. I moved my lunch towards them and watched them eat it. Melissa, who finished with her lunch, swiped some food too. “Alan, I would definitely marry you and make you my wife.” She said as she chewed a piece of celery.
Chase raised his eyebrow as he popped a sausage into his mouth. “Don’t you mean husband?”
Melissa stared at him, confused before her eyes lit up with comprehension. “Oh yeah, I forgot I had a vagina. My bad.”
James and Chase went into a fit of guffaws, James clutching his stomach. Chase slammed his fist onto the table, making me jump. I smiled. I may not like attention or crowds, but it’s nice sitting here, watching people laugh at something funny and not at your pain and suffering.
James, still laughing said. “How could you forget you have a vagina?”
Melissa shrugged, then smiled as she placed her elbows on the table, her head in her hands. “I dunno. It’s just there.” She turned her attention towards me. “So… do you have dessert?”
I reached into my bag and took out another container that has my brownies with almonds inside. I had time to make them since I couldn’t sleep after the nightmare I had. Just because it wasn’t horrendous, it still kept me awake at night and I had nothing to do. What better way to kill time then to cook? I had a few hours to spare and I’m not going back to sleep.
I pulled off the lid, took one brownie and slid the rest to the others. I nibbled slowly, satisfied that the brownies came out great. The brownie was soft and moist while the almonds gave it a nice crunch. The others seemed to appreciate it too because they ate the rest of it, along with my lunch.
Melissa leaned forward onto the table, sipping her coke. She sighed in satisfaction. “If only you had more brownies.”
Chase burped, then leaned towards me, his eyes focused on my face. I scooted away a bit, not liking the small space that separated us. He was too close for comfort. His hand a blur, he snatched my glasses off my face and examined them. I tried to take them back, but he dodged, putting on my glasses.
Melissa snorted. “You look ridiculous Chase.”
Chase grinned before it turned to confusion. He adjusted my glasses on his face, his facial expression turning into even more confusion. “What kind of glasses are these? I can see perfectly and I don’t wear glasses.”
Melissa reached over and snatched my glasses, then put them on. “Hey, you’re right. I’m wearing contacts, but I can see through these just the same.”
James reached over and took them, examining it. “Are these fake?”
I made another attempt for my glasses, but Chase took them before I could.
He dangled them far enough from my reach. “Tell us Alan. Why are you wearing fakes?”
I stared at him frightened. Chase should already know, he saw my ugly face. He should know I wear these glasses so no one could see my face. Everyone else at school is disgusted with me, why should I give Melissa and James another excuse to hate me? Chase might not be bothered, but deep down, he’ll regret ever seeing my mug. He’s probably disgusted with my face, but doesn’t want to hurt the hideous, nerdy shrimp, the freak, the ‘fucking fag that should’ve died’ what Lucas’ friend said.
Tears formed in my eyes, blurring my vision. The warm drops falling down my cheeks, dripping down to splatter on the wooden bench. I sniffed, rubbing my eyes to stop the tears, but the tears kept coming. My body began to tremble as the sob I tried to suppress escaped my throat.
I don’t Melissa and James to hate me. I know I didn’t want to make friends when I first came to this school, to not care for anyone, just myself, but it’s no use, I already cared for these three. How stupid can I be? How did this happen? Stupid, stupid me. You’ll just get hurt when they betray you in the end, like what happened in freshmen year with Henry Gellert.
Remember what Henry Gellert did to you. He befriended you in the beginning and you let him into your heart. You began to care. Then he set you up in the gym, convincing you he lost something important. Then he pounced on you and pinned you down while Lucas and his jock buddies came through the doors with a lighter and cigarettes. You should remember, you have the burn scars to prove it.
I have to get away, have to destroy these feelings, push them away from my heart while it’s still fresh and new. The wounds would hurt, but they will heal with time and effort. The only person you can care about is Aunt Claire, and only her. She proved to me time and time again she’s the only trustworthy person you can lean on, care about, love as much as my fragile heart can give.
“Oh shit. Fuck, Alan I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Chase said, flustered, not knowing what to do.
“We’re sorry for taking your glasses Alan.” James said, his voice regretful and apologetic.
“Yeah, so don’t cry. Chase will give you back your glasses, just please stop crying.” Melissa pleaded, her tone sad.
It’s not the glasses I’m crying about. It’s the thought that losing the new feeling of happiness that came from you three would have to be crushed in order to protect myself. I wish I could be friends with you guys, if I wasn’t so messed up, if I wasn’t such a disgusting piece of shit, but I am and I don’t want to ruin your happiness just to appease mine.
“Alan, please stop crying. I’m sorry. Here, you can have them back.” Chase handed me back my glasses, along with a tissue. I took the napkin and wiped my eyes. I blew my nose into the tissue, folding it so the snot won’t get onto my hands. “ If I had known taking your glasses would make you cry, I would have never done it.”
Melissa snorted. “Coming from the person who made almost every single person in the school cry for the heck of it.”
Chase growled at her. “Shut up. You are not helping.”
James went into his backpack and handed me a grape flavored tootsie pop. “Here, maybe eating a lollipop would make you feel better.”
I hesitated before taking the lollipop, careful not to touch him. I unwrapped it, taking a small lick. A blast of grape burst into my mouth, replacing the bitter taste of sorrow from my tongue. Put the whole thing on my mouth, enjoying this bit of sweetness.
“I think it’s cute how his face now has a giant lump on one cheek. It reminds me of those squirrels that stuff nuts into their cheeks.” James said, grinning at me.
A sudden gust of wind blew at us, the force blowing my hair out of my face. I squinted, preventing grass and dirt from going into my eyes. When the wind died down, I rubbed my eyes. Stupid wind.
“You have GOT to be kidding me.”
Curious, I glanced at Melissa and James who gawked at me. Chase was smirking at them, amusement clear on his face. Is my hair full of grass and dirt or something? I patted my head. Nope, nothing. Then it hit me.
Oh god, they can see my face.
I shook my hair, the thick white strands covering my face once again. I felt all of my blood drain from my face, already knowing there will be disgust and hate in their eyes.
An awkward silence, the rustling of leaves and the sounds of the wind the only thing from keeping it completely silent. Unable to take it anymore, I quickly packed my stuff, avoiding eye contact with everyone, and made a fast getaway. Forget going to class, I’m taking a nice calm run in the forest for the rest of the day. With that in mind, I headed straight into the forest, breathing in the earthy scent.
I don’t know how far I’ve gone, but I’ve been in this forest so many times, I know it by instinct. I hung my bag by a tall tree, climbing up the trunk to hang it on a branch, the leaves provided coverage for anyone who saw it. A few leaves rustled, falling gracefully to the cushiony dirt, giving color to the dark ground.
I stretched my muscles, warming up not just my muscles, but settle my nerves a bit. I positioned myself into a stance, one I always used when I was little, then rocketed myself in the forest. The soft thumps of my sneakers making contact with the earth calmed me, the musical lyrics of nature and the fresh smell of pine made my heart soar. I finally felt free again, the bad feelings falling back as I ran and ran and kept running. Who knows how long I ran? Time is not important, the feeling of freedom as if the wings of my heart have spread along with my body lifted me into pure bliss.
I ran onto a boulder, climbing all the way on top before jumping off, landing on my feet. I kept running as I ran on top of fallen trees, over giant roots of trees, leaping off of ledges, under low branches and across a small lake I found years ago, my sanctuary.
Tired, I sat by the edge of the lake, peeling off my shoes and socks to soak my burning feet in the cool water. I wiggled my toes in the water as I untied my bandana from my neck and peeled off my shirt. I pulled off my wristbands, then my jeans, leaving me in only my boxers. I folded my clothes and placed then with my shoes and socks on a flat rock before diving into the icy coolness of the lake.
The lake is secluded, hidden from sight. Boulders took up a side of the lake, a cliff hid the other and the amount of trees surrounding it helped too. It’s peaceful here, birds chirping, a few deer taking a sip on the other side of the lake, the drumming of a woodpecker drilling on a tree. Here, surrounded by nature, I can shed my shell, relax the shields surrounding my heart and just be one with nature.
I relaxed my body and let it float along the water’s surface. I just stared at the sky, watch the clouds lazily float by, the white fluff balls changing shape every now and then. Oh, that one looks like a ditto riding a bicycle. How is that possible when ditto’s a blob? Whatever, the clouds looks exactly that, a ditto on a bicycle.
The sun shined warmly on my slick body, highlighting the scars. I gently skimmed my fingers on each scar, each one with it’s own painful memories. The one on my neck suddenly throbbed in pain, like the memories of the pain I went through in order to get this scar.
Sometimes, even though the wound has healed, they still throb a bit. It comes at random times so I involuntarily twitch from the sudden throb. I touched the small jagged scar behind my right ear, a piece of glass grazed me when I was thrown on the school’s parking lot. A broken beer bottle just happened to be there.
I traced the knife scar under my belly button. One of Lucas’ crazy followers thought that stabbing me would gain approval from Lucas to join his posse, and it did work. I bled on the bathroom floor with a knife jutting out of my stomach while Lucas congrats him on a job well done.
Then there’s the one on my left shoulder in the shape of an ‘L’. Remember I told you how Lucas branded me, well this is the brand. I was going to the corner store to get some milk during the evening when Lucas and his friends spotted me. I didn’t notice he was there until he knocked me unconscious with a nice crack on the head. I woke up at someone’s house, tied to the ground, topless and gagged. Lucas held a hot branding iron, and pressed it onto my shoulder. I screamed as blistering hot agony consumed me, my screams muffled from the gag. His friends on the other hand were cheering him on, laughing while they drank beer. I passed out from the pain and woke up in a dumpster with my shirt over my face. I didn’t know it was recorded and posted on the internet until people kept trying to pull the top of my shirt down to expose my shoulder and gave me the hand sign for loser, asking me how it felt to feel like a cow.
I sighed. I’m suppose to relax, not think about bad times. I combed my hair back with my fingers, watching a flock of birds fly by. A splash caught my attention, pulling me away from my thoughts. I turned to see a beautiful black wolf on top of the cliff, looking down at me. We locked gazes for a few minutes before it turned and disappeared from the cliff.
I swam around for a few minutes, then made my way to where I left my clothes. I shook my wet hair, the strands whipping my face. I picked up my clothes and shoes and headed for a sunny spot to dry and warm myself up. I found one on top of a boulder a few feet away from the lake. I climbed on easily from years of adventuring and escaping. I found a good spot on the boulder, placed my clothes and shoes right next to me, then laid on my back and let nature take it’s course.
I was disappointed now that someone other than me saw Alan’s face. I’m also disappointed when Alan just ran away, again. I know he has problems with showing his face, why else would he cover it up with his hair and those dorky glasses? I feel kind of guilty that I teased him when he’s so fragile and scared, but I couldn’t help it. It’s in my nature to tease people, whether if it’s for kicks and giggles or just to hurt your feelings.
Does that make me a bad person?
Why did he run into the forest? It’s kind of dangerous there with the wolves and bear and other wild animals that could maul a person to death, especially Alan. Which reminds me of yesterday. My dad ordered these dogs specifically to attack intruders who are unauthorized or trespassing. The dogs are usually at the back of the house, but since my dad’s gone on a business trip, he let them free to roam all around the yard. If he was at home, he would put them on a tight leash.
I was scared shitless, hoping I could make it in time before the dogs mauled him with their sharp teeth. Never in my life was I scared for someone other than myself. When I threw the entrance door open and saw the dogs already on top of him, with Alan struggling, I almost screamed. Then the sounds of laughter filled my ears and realized it was Alan. I was so relieved, my legs almost gave up.
When I saw Alan’s tear stained face today, I just wanted to kiss him badly, sooth him with a soft kiss and take away the pain that clouded his eyes. I wanted to hug him, engulf him in my arms, comfort him, but before I could do anything, he left me.
I dumped my bag in my locker and went to class. I can hear people talking about what happened yesterday during first, pissed that these assholes can just talk shit about a person they don’t even know, treat him like trash. Sure, I used to do it to others, but this is Alan I’m talking about. Alan is special, not some lump of crap you can just spit on for fun. Makes me want to do some damage to others.
One of the few people I respect, and my close friend Cal Briant, strolled up to me, a lazy smile telling me his mood. “Hey Chase. What’s got you raging?”
Cal Briant, a good looking bastard of a linebacker with his brownish gold hair combed back from his head, emerald eyes, strong nose, and great bone structure under all that muscle. He’s four inches taller than my six, wearing a v-necked black sweater with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, low faded blue jeans, and tan hiking boots. A golden chain with a cross hung on his neck, not that he’s religious or anything.
Should I tell him? He’s one of the people I can count on to keep a secret. We always got into so much trouble, him watching my back as I watched his, fighting side by side ever since I was in the fourth grade. I was ganged up by a bunch of sixth graders one day. Me being the arrogant prick I am, snarked at them, then let my fists fly when they came at me. Cal was getting some ice cream when he saw me, threw his popsicle at one of them, then joined me in the fight. We won and became friends ever since. After that we just stuck with each other, being the brother I always wanted than the bastards who are my so called ‘brothers’.
“You know Alan?” We walked side by side. Well we are going to the same class.
He nodded. “Yeah, the new kid everyone’s talking shit about?”
“Yeah. I think, uhhh…. I think I might…. I think I like him.” I scratched my head, feeling awkward.
“You sure man?”
“Yeah. I never felt like this for another person before. When I see him, my body warms up. Whenever we touch, I feel these sparks. I don’t want to sound all girly and mushy, but when I see his face, I’m… happy.” My shoulders felt lighter as I said this, like a weight came off my shoulders. It’s true, the brief times we touched, I get these electric zaps that go through my entire body. When he smiles, my heart soars.
He stops me in front of the class door and stares into my eyes, searching for something. He nods and smiles. “I believe you.” He laughs. “It’s a huge surprise. Who would have thought that Chase O’Connell, ruler of the school, star football player, and the school’s manwhore, has fallen in love with the new kid? But, I’m happy for you. I saw that twinkle in your eye when you said his name. You got it bad.” He frowned. “I heard what happened to him yesterday. It’s shitty how people are saying all this crap about him.”
I sighed. “Yeah. That’s the reason why I was raging and the worst part of it is, I’m the one responsible for him freaking out in class.”
He shook his head. “I also heard that after he left, you just walked out class and you skipped practice. You never skipped practice without a reason.” He raised and eyebrow at me. “Start from the beginning.”
So I did. “So I was late for first that day. When I got to class, there was one seat left and it was right next to Alan. I didn’t know he had first with me so I was really happy, but being the asshole I am, I decided to mess with him a bit. So I teased him a bit, and he blushed, which made his ears turned red. I was suddenly compelled to bite his ear, so did. He screamed as he fell off the chair. I felt bad about freaking him out so when I touched his shoulder, he just ran out of the class. I sat there for a few minutes before I got fed up with class and just left to search for Alan. I found him in the boy’s bathroom, asleep. So I picked him up and brought him to my house and put him on my bed. He woke up, I messed with him some more, but I guess it freaked him out so he went all hysterical, attacking me. I punched him in the stomach to calm him down, then felt bad about it because I punched too had.”
I frowned at the memory. “I tried to see the damage, but he freaked out more, refusing. I got annoyed so I used force, but he got away. I chased him around the house, then gave up and went to my room. He was there so I trapped him with my arms, about to lift his shirt, but he used this cool move where he hooked his legs with mine and pulled, knocking me down. He grabbed his stuff, and ran away with the maid. I just flopped onto my bed when he left and was just about to fall asleep when I heard the guard dogs barking and forgot that they were free to roam the entire yard that day.”
Cal’s eyes widened. “Oh shit.”
I nodded in agreement. “I ran out as fast as I could and found Alan being mobbed my three Doberman pinschers. I was so scared until I heard him laughing and realized they were licking him and playing with him. It was amazing. I never thought I would see them so friendly with a stranger.”
The bell rang. Cal and I went into the classroom and took our seats, sitting side by side in the far corner. He dropped his bag on his desk and whistled. “He must be special. The first time I came to your house, they almost ate me alive. If you weren’t there to stop them and let them remember my scent, I would’ve been chewed to death.”
Cal paused in thought. “Wait, did you guys kiss or anything?”
I shook my head. “No. I haven’t tried anything with him. I don’t even know if he likes me.” I hesitated. “He has a lot of problems and I don’t want to add to them.” Too late for that.
“Whatever happens, I’m with you man. Don’t let anyone’s opinions change you.” He chews his lip. “Although I have to say, with what I’m hearing about Alan and what happened this morning is not good.”
“What do mean what happened this morning?”
He sighs and shakes his head. “This morning, Alan was ganged up by the basketball team, pushed him on the lockers and threw him on the ground. There were also papers taped on his locker with some pretty messed up words.”
Anger coursed through me, a demonic inferno that kept growing. “Those BASTARDS.” I growled menacingly. I clenched my fists, restraining myself from hunting down the culprits. My body vibrated with the anger swirling like a tornado inside me. No wonder Alan seemed so down today.
“Whoa, calm down. We can get them after school.” Cal reassured me.
I swallowed, calming myself enough to register what he said. I raised an eyebrow. “We?”
Cal punched my arm playfully. “Yeah man. I’ll always have your back. We’ll both find and beat those mother fuckers for messing with your boy.” He gave me an evil smirk.
Anger still boiled inside me as i grinned back. Oh yeah, when i find them, they will wish they never angered me in the first place.
No one messes with Alan but me.
So how do you like the story so far?
*Chews on ice cream.*
I based Cal on my best friend Ben. Thank you so much for being there for me. Hugs and kisses for you ma buddeh.
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Love and all that crap,
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