Nepenthe» Jacob Black

.06

Leaves are fallin', it's September
The night came in and made her shiver
I told her she could have my jacket
Wrapped it tight around her shoulders
And I was so young 'til she kissed me
Like a whiskey, like a whiskey

I never knew that love was blind
'Til I was hers, but she was never mine
Yeah, I was reckless
But I let it burn, I let it burn, yeah
The feelin', it was bittersweet
Realizin' I was into deep
She was a lesson
I had to learn, I had to learn, yeah

Jacob:

Four months later

I grab another bottle of whiskey and head back to bed. I run my fingers over the picture of Jo I have on my nightstand. I trance the features of her face. She is inconceivably beautiful, I was just to moronic to notice.

Tears stream down my face as I take another drink from the bottle.

Someone walks in my room but I don't move to see who it is.

"Jake get up." Embry says.

"No." I growl.

"Yes." He objects.

"No, I fucked up. I really did." I whisper.

"Yeah you did. She's gone because of you." He snaps, he always liked Jo, he didn't join me in being mean to her, "The only way you have a shadow of a chance of getting her back, you have to prove to her that you're a better person. That you're not the same asshole who did that to her."

"She's gone!" I roar, threatening to phase.

"And whose fault was that?" He sneers, "You couldn't even keep your own imprint, your one job as a shifter."

That sentence alone infuriates me.

I black out, next thing I know I'm on top of Embry, beating the piss out of him.

He retaliates, punching me in the nose, blood starts streaming down my face.

Josephine:

I'm homeschooled now.
It's pretty great. All my classes are online so I can sleep in most of the time.

"Jo, it's time to get up." My dad begs.

Today I'm having one of those days that you would call a "setback". I have antidepressants that are supposed to make me feel better but in reality, they just make me vomit randomly and lose me appetite.

I don't say anything when I climb out of bed and follow my dad to the kitchen.

He places a glass of water and my antidepressant pill in front of me.

I swallow them and open my mouth so he knows that I took them.

"Are you ready to go back for Christmas?" My dad asks.

"Yeah, everything's packed." I tell him, focusing on my plate of food.

"You know what I mean." He lectures, "Are you going to be okay there?"

"Yeah I'll be fine." I answer, "I'll just hang out at home. I don't play on going to Sam and Emily's."

He nods, "How is Sam? At being an alpha and all."

"He does a good job." I nod, "He's good at keeping the boys under control. They just need to respect him more."

"He'll figure it out." He agrees, "Ready to go?"

I nod and we grab my luggage.

6 hours later I'm in the Port Angeles airport baggage claim. It's been 4 months since I've been here, it seems like a lifetime and an hour ago. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. I want to cease to exist, but I couldn't do that to my family.

I grab my luggage and wait for my mom at the front of the airport.

I see my mom's smiling face as she pulls the car around.

"There's my girl." My mom smiles, embracing me in a hug, "What do you want to do for dinner?"

"Can we just hang out at home? I miss you and Paul." I ask her.

"Of course." She says as we get in the car.

When we get home, Jared and Paul are in the kitchen.

I run into Paul's arms and he embraces me tightly, "Welcome home tiny."

Jared ruffles my hair and pulls a seat up to the table.

I sit down and munch on some pizza while Paul and Jared tell me about all the trouble they've been getting into and how Sam doesn't know what to do with them.

For the first time in months, I smile.

"How are you feeling?" Jared asks me.

"Right now, I'm good." I tell him.

"No I mean, how are you?" He presses.

I sigh, "I find myself wearing layers of clothes, like someone is always looking right through me and seeing those pictures."

He nods, understanding that it was a scarring experience.

"I feel so exposed, mentally, physically, emotionally. He literally took everything from me." I confine in him.

Jared pulls me into a hug, "We're not going to let him hurt you again."