Until you (28)

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"Don't mistake salt for sugar. If he wants to be with you; he will. That simple."


It was the most restless night I had in my entire life besides... that day.

I could only wish to fall asleep before I would fall apart, but it was the completer opposite.

I lay here on the bed, staring at the wall after my endless sobs. Thoughts were razing through my mind like a plague sticking to me. I couldn't really tell what I felt perhaps I didn't feel anything at all; I was numb.

Have you ever been so sad that it physically hurts inside? You know you aren't going to die, but it feels like a part of you just died that night; a part you'll never find again.

If I could be honest I also couldn't fall asleep, because I missed the warmth of his arms engulfing me, protecting me from the world.

I think I've lost my mind.

I was thinking about what will happen now. Will he leave me to go back to his fiancée? But the mission? How is the mission going to end? I didn't come here to get my heart broken.

My head snaps to door, although I didn't hear anything, but I still could feel it... his presence.

It was hilarious how I could feel his warm presence miles away from me. It was as if his warmth sent an aura through the whole room, reminding me of his presence.

I could feel him leaning against my door. I could hear his soft breathing and the guilt... the guilt was suffocating me. It came off so strongly it was almost unbearable.

"Princess, are you sleeping? Please give me a sign that you're listening", he breathes out, knocking softly at my door. His velvet voice made me tear up again. I was fighting back my tears.


Should I respond? Would he tell me that I have to leave? I'm not prepared yet. I have to calm my heart first.

"I can feel that you are awake", he whispers against my door.

I somehow could picture me his lost eyes, leaning his head against my door.

"Please listen to me. I know what you saw is unexplainable. I'm sorry", he begins, his velvety voice laced with hurt.

"But I will still try my best to explain it. I swear I was just showing her the restroom until she begged me to wait for her, because she won't find the way back", his voice was cracking in pain, making my eyes tear up again.

Oh no, I don't want to cry anymore.

I want this pain to be done.

"Stop!", I whisper out between sobs. I knew he had heard me by the wave of guilt I felt.


"I don't want to hear it. It's okay if you want to go back to her. It's okay. It's okay. It's o...kay", I try to convince him, but perhaps the person I tried to convince the most was myself.

    It's okay,

    I can let go.

    "No, love. Please listen to me. I beg you, please", Mason exclaims I could hear the sorrow in his voice.

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