30) 'My Horse Mask Got Confiscated' And Other Problems That Prove Modern High...

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30) 'My Horse Mask Got Confiscated' And Other Problems That Prove Modern High Schools Are More Like 50's Mental Asylums Than Learning Institutions


It was a good thing Messiah showed up to school again the next day, because spending time with Heston, and only Heston, was quite the experience, and not a very enjoyable one at that. Benjamin figured Messiah was the most approachable one—besides Heston apparently—since he was pretty forgiving, apart from when it came to subjects he was passionate about. Which wasn't all that much, considering.

"Put this on," said Heston.

Benjamin put his fingers to his lips and shot Heston a look. Talking while stalking people wasn't recommended. They stood at the edge of a group of lockers; beyond it, in the hallway perpendicular to them, Messiah walked about, unassuming.

"Benjamin."

"Shh. No. I don't even like new generation that much."

"Genwunner."

Benjamin ignored him. Their objective was leaving. Update: their objective had left.

Well, this would be hard.


Before the algebra teacher shower up, Heston said, "I have a plan."

Benjamin let him continue, even if he knew he'd probably regret it.

"We talk to Messiah. Once Messiah joins the light side—gidit? Light side?"

"Please continue."

Heston shook his head in that I'm-so-disappointed-at-your-inferior-sense-of-humor way and, in fact, continued, "Once there are three of us, Pi and Martin will begin to notice the squad is together. Ish. And then they won't be able to refuse the Call for long."

Benjamin raised his eyebrows. "You mean baiting them?"

Heston nodded.

"Oh. Wow, good idea."

No, really, that was a good idea. The only problem with that plan was that they first needed to get Messiah to actually talk to them and accept their friendship yet again. Would Messiah pretend like they were dead, like Martin, or like they didn't exist, like Pi? Actually, knowing Messiah, he would most likely scream at them for being meat-eaters.

"Okay, you do that."

"I am unqualified. You're the guy with the money and the boyfriend."

"Your parents are rich too, Heston."

"Not for long."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm going to empty the safe and run away to live with Stephen Hawking and Sheldon Cooper."

"Right, okay—you have to talk to Messiah, because I don't know how to, and this was your idea, so that automatically makes you the operator of this mission. I am merely the guy behind the computer that offers escape plans."

"What is the escape plan?" Heston asked, eyebrows raised, hands in his sides.

"I-I don't know—I don't have one yet."

"Wow, I see how it is. We're switching roles." He suddenly whipped out a plastic bag. "When Messiah gets mad at us we throw these sausages at him. See, I do have an escape plan."

"Heston, that's a stupid plan. We can't switch roles. If Messiah gets mad, we... he can have my Q figurine."

"Oh, that's a good one."

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