Rigid Crow

Look Up For Reassurance

     Ukai, Takeda, Noya, Asahi, Ennoshita, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi are waiting for us when we get back. They tell us that Tanaka and Saeko had to go home, and they took Yachi to her house as well, because her parents wanted her home as early as possible.
     "We'll go back to the school in ten minutes," Ukai tells us, rapping on his watch for emphasis. "If you need to do something or go get anything, do it now. Sensei and I will meet you at the doors."
     None of us follow them yet. Suga and Daichi tell us that they'll be right back. So that leaves only me, and the five other players alone in the hallway.
     "Are you all right, Kageyama-kun?" Ennoshita-san asks, then facepalms. "That was a stupid question... but you know what I mean?"
     "Mmhm," I nod, affirming. "I'll be alright."
     "...Guys," Noya-san says, realizing something. "We have a game tomorrow."
     "We do?" Asahi asks. "Ugh, I completely forgot!"
     "Me too," I admit. I don't think I'll be able to play to the best I can. Not while I know we just lost our teammate, in a way.
     Nishinoya takes a shaky inhale. "We can do it. It would crush Shōyō to know that we didn't move farther in the tournament because of him."
     The others agree. "I'm gonna go to the restroom," I tell them. I just need to be alone for a minute.
     When I open the bathroom door, I'm greeted by the sound of crying. I match the voice with a person I've never heard give off such a heartbreaking demeanor. "Koushi, please," another voice adds itself into the chaos. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," Daichi says, his voice and Suga's sobs sounding from the farthest stall.
"Everything's wrong, Daichi!" Suga exclaims, dissolving into tears again. "Why did this have to happen to Hinata?" he hiccups. "I never wanted anything like this to happen to any of our teammates. I don't want us to lose him!"
     "I know," Daichi simply answers. "I know it's hard, Suga, staying strong for the rest of them, but we have to. If we don't... who else are they going to look up to for reassurance?"
     "It hurts, Daichi. It actually hurts. My chest is all tight, I can hardly catch my breath, I'm so stressed! And did you see Kageyama?" I tense up. "He fell apart Daichi! The most emotion I've ever seen out of him was that time Hinata hit him in the back of the head with a volleyball! And that wasn't even serious!
     "Our whole team is falling apart, Daichi," Suga cries. "Did you hear Yamaguchi? And Yachi! Tsukishima even lost the sarcasm to his voice!" Suga tries to laugh at his own remark, but it comes out as a sob instead. "N-Nishinoya... I've never seen him so distraught! Narita started having a panic attack after seeing Hinata. That almost never happens, Daichi. I can't do anything about... anything!" Suga lets out a whimper.
     "Suga, we can't do anything but stay strong for them. It's beyond our control."
     "But why does it have to be us, Daichi?" Suga cries. "I want someone to reassure me. I know that sounds selfish, but I can't do this by myself!"
     "You aren't," Daichi tells him softly. "I'll be by your side every step of the way. I'm your captain! And you're my co-captain. I couldn't do this without you, either. We can do this. Know that I won't leave you alone."
     "What if it had been you, Daichi? Remember that match a little while ago when you hit your head? You weren't moving, Daichi. I couldn't move. You could have just as easily ended up in the situation that Hinata's in. If you had... what would I do? I'd have nobody!" Suga exclaims.
     "That's not true," Daichi assures him. "You have the whole team. They adore you, Suga. And... if we can't be strong... they can see that we have all the feelings they do. We're humans too. It's not like we're angels sent from heaven or anything," he laughs softly.
     "Aren't you scared, Daichi?" Suga asks quietly, his voice still shaking.
     "Yeah, I am," Sawamura-san admits. "But even though we're scared, that doesn't mean we can't be brave, right?"
     "Right," Suga-san agrees. He takes a deep breath, finally calmed down. "Thank you, Daichi."
     "Anytime, Suga."
"Oh gosh, Daichi, do you think everyone will be okay to play in the game tomorrow?"
"Don't worry, I know they'll do their best for Hinata," Daichi responds, taking the first step out of the stall.
Ack! Should I run out? I don't know if I can get there in time! I shouldn't have eavesdropped! Sawamura-san will be mad at me! Or disappointed, at the very least. I don't want to try leaving, they may see me! Daichi fully emerges from the stall, Suga right behind him. Shoot.
Before they can even give a reaction, I'm bowing and apologizing frantically. "I'm sorry! Gomen'nasai! Sumimasen! I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I just..." I look back up just enough so I can see their faces. Eeek! I look back down. Daichi's terrifying when he's mad! "Forgive me, Captain! I didn't know you were here! I only came in here to be alone and then..."
Suga looks pretty shaken that I've heard his whole conversation. I think that's why Daichi looks extremely ticked off at me.
"It's... okay," Suga sniffles. "You understand, don't you? Just... I'd appreciate if you kept this to yourself, okay, Kageyama?" He smiles weakly at me.
"O-Of course!" I stutter, then cringe as Sawamura steps up to me.
He karate-chops my head. "Don't eavesdrop. Gotta knock that into your head somehow, right?" He then gives a small smile, and I know he's not mad anymore.
Ennoshita's voice sounds from outside the door. "Kageyama?" He pushes it open and sees the three of us. "Oh! Captain, Suga-san! Good thing you're here too. Sensei told me to find you guys. It's time to go."
     I don't know if he notices how red and puffy Suga's eyes are. If he did, I'm sure he understands.
     The four of us walk back down the hall to the doors. I cast one last look at the door to the room Hinata is in, and just one thought rings throughout my head:
     I wish we didn't have to go.