RED

Not Strong Enough To Forgive Easily

During the next few weeks, it seemed to be in a blur. The whole pack has tried to contact me by either calling Max, sending notes, whinning at my window at night, or trying to show up where they know i would be. The Cullens were respectful enough to give me space--but that didn't mean they didn't try to contact me, either.

Rose e-mailed me a few more times, asking to meet me, or let her explain. Every message had an apology with it. I was tired of her apologizing.

Alice came up to me once at lunch, asking if i would like to join their group who consisted of, Bella, Edward, her, Jasper--after he came back-- Mike, Angela, and Ben. I declined kindly, but something in my eyes had made myself clear that would never happen. She didn't ask again.

Jasper called twice, then tried to talk to me in the halls two more times. He was one person i wanted to talk to, but my pride refused. If i talked to him, i would have to talk to them all. And that means William.

William was more restrained. We had most classes together, so it was difficult. I constantly catch his eye. Every time it sends my heart in a clenching thump--like i can't breath. It wasn't as hard as i thought it would be, though. The first week was miserable, but now he is just a corpse i used to date--who i notice without meaning to.

Edward seemed to accept my distance for now. I had heard him tell Bella i needed my space, that i would come to them when i wanted to. He was more resonable than the rest of them. He knew what was best as of now. But i think once he realizes i won't be talking to them, his opinion will change and he'll be asking to talk, too.

I was home doing dishes when i got my first call,

"Hello?" I answered after whiping my hands.

"Natalia?"

I sigh, "Yes, Bella?"

She didn't seeme in a rush, so i knew she was in no danger. But i suspected the worry in her voice was because she was worried over me hanging up on her once i knew it was her speaking.

"I'm not grounded anymore--well, not entierly."

"That's good. I figured Charlie would have you locked up for life."

After what she put her dad through, i would have locked her up for good. He is too kind.

"Me too," She laughs, but it sounded wrong. "His condition is, i can be free if i hang out with more people then the Cullens." She waited for me to answer, "Seems fair. You going to ask Angela?"

Angela had forgiven Bella completely, but she wasn't as involved as i was. It was different. If i were in her human shoes, i would have forgiven Bella, too.

"I was wondering if we could hang out. I miss you." I was going to reply but she cut me off, "Edward says you need space, but i need you. I miss hanging out and talking about everything. You were there for me when no one else was."

I had pity for her. "What about Jake?" I asked instead.

Her sigh was sad, "He won't talk to me, either."

"Well i won't talk to him, so i guess he's feeling what you are." I grumble.

"What do you mean? Why are you ignoring him?"

"Uh, well, after i told you to go after Edward, he freaked out and knocked me down, said some things, and i left." Didn't need to go into detail.

"I'm sorry, Natalia."

I shrug, "If you want me to come over, set a date."

Her mood changed quickly, "Thank you! Want to come over now?"