I can't sleep, it's one in the morning, and so I've decided to try and shrink my work uniform shirt using a boiling method I found on the internet.
I've lost 20+ pounds recently, and I really like the style of uniform I have, so I'm gonna try and wing it. Here's to hope.
(I don't like the most recent shirts they hand out to newbies, but we OGs can wear our original shirts, as long as they are in good condition)
Step one: wait for pot to boil
🙃 🙃 🙃
Step two: soak and potentially ruin work uniform for 20 minutes.
And now we wait...
Step Three: In the meantime, gather your loose change. Make sure you have enough for a high drying load.
This, kids, is cash. It's what people in the 90s used before cellphones and chip readers.
Step Four: Equip yourself with a pair of steel tongs and try not to get dirty looks as you shuffle down your apartment hall with a pot of boiling shirt soup at two in the morning, questioning why you make your life choices and what led you here.
Step Five: place in drier on high heat while you ponder the meaning of life. Why are you the way that you are?
Be careful not to spill any hot shirt juice on your bare feet.
Better yet, use protective shoes.
Step Six: realise that you placed the shirt in the drier at 2 am. And that it will be another hour before it's done.
Regret everything. And pray. Pray that the shirt will survive in one piece. And hope that the one piece is shrunk evenly.... and not too small.
Regret everything more.
watch some of the Office.
Might as well.
You've got time.
Step Eight: moment of truth.... it's three in the morning and the shirt is...
Could be worse. Surprising to say the least. Anyway, thanks for joining me. If you do this, lmao, comment?