Chapter 17: why?

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Otabeks POV

I don't know what happened to me. I don't know why I acted the way that I did. I don't feel like myself.

After I left the office I went to get changed. I met Chris at the changing rooms located away from the mess of people. he was already dressed wearing a black, body cling shirt with a bow tie and white skinny jeans. I put on one of my many crop tops. Today it was neon purple with a glitter rose on the front. I also put on a pair of white skinny jeans. Finally topped of with a velvet Choker.

Our jobs were simple. Look pretty, sell drugs and alcohol, make money. I also DJ some nights when the music is horrible like today. But I wasn't feeling it for whatever reason. I wasn't in the mood for anything. I just wanted to go home. To yura.

Why do I miss him?

What ever.

On a bad night I can usually get upward of 1,000 dollars. We work at a club called mafia that's for really really rich people with nothing better to do. Seung, who runs it is an undercover spy for the Russian mafia. I'm not supposed to know that but as a kid, since my parent didn't give two shits about me I mostly wondered around neighborhoods, parks, forest, anything really  when I wasn't at school so I wouldn't have to be home. I ran into Seung when I was about 11 and he let me hang out with him. He's 5 years older then me.

Anyway, later in the night after I made about 1,200$ I was getting annoyed. I'm not sure why. I normally like doing this. I don't know if it was the shitty music. Or the scent of all the drugs being so overwhelming. Or the cluster of humans I couldn't escape. I left to go back to the dressing rooms. I got changed and stopped into Seung's office.

Im just felling so weird. I couldn't tell if it was hate, stress, fear, anger, Love, irritation, or what. But I was not feeling myself.

" I'm done" the words poured out of my mouth and I couldn't control it. I don't know why I said that.

"What?"

"I'm not working here anymore. I quit." I just ran down before he could say anything.

"OTABEK YOU CANT! GET BACK HERE!"

I ran to the changing room to grab my things. Which surprisingly wasn't a lot. What weighed the most was the brief case filled with almost everything dollar that I made. Chris was in there taking a break while looking very confused.

" what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm leaving ok, bye"

I couldn't control my body. I didn't really want to quit.  I felt like I was in a nightmare. I just don't  feel right. I did want to go Home tho.

I ran out of the rusted door. Into the street. Looking like a lunatic. I pulled out my phone for an Uber. I looked like a  complete mess and I was on the verge of tears. The man driving the car looked confused and concerned but said nothing. About an hour or so later I was home. I ran in and scrambled to unlock the door.

I immediately dropped everything. I broke down into a crying mess.

"Beka? Are you ok? What's wrong? It's ok your fine!"

Yuri sounded like he just woke up for a deep sleep. I was to busy crying to look up. Ugh I'm a reck. I feel so bad that he has to see me like this.

He ran over and just hugged me on the floor. I still don't know what was happening. But I knew what I was about to say. I couldn't stop myself. I have no control over anything I was doing. I hate it make it stop.

"I love you, Yura"

Stop what are you doing? Your so stupid!!!


Wow my dooods its. Omg. It's like wowo. Anyway, I just drank a gallon of water in two minutes Becuase i thought it was be fun  and now I feel like dyeing! How's your day??
-Cas

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