"Get dressed sweetheart, your new therapist will be here soon!" My mother says in a singing voice from downstairs, she always acts like this when she's trying to cheer herself up.
Her and my stepfather were fighting this morning, about me.
I'm the reason why he left, I'm the reason why my little brother doesn't have a mother. I feel so guilty for what happened over four years ago. He thinks I'm crazy.... Well, everyone does really. They would be insane themselves not to.
I don't feel crazy though, not all the time at least. The voices come and go but they aren't my own even though they feel so familiar to me. I don't remember why they started, one day I was fine and then the next I'm in a car accident and bedridden for weeks. I can't remember anything, who I was with or what happened.
I was just a normal seventeen-year-old who loved her family, now my stepfather hates me and my brother is scared of me. I was a good kid, never dabbled in drugs or lied to my parents. Hell, I'm twenty-two and still a virgin for fuck's sake.
You weren't a good kid, you were never a good kid.
Yes! Yes, I was, what do you even know? You weren't with me when before the accident!
Wasn't I though? The voice inside my head argues and I sigh before pulling on a sweater and some leggings. I over analyze everything and I find myself rehashing the fight between my parents this morning.
"Why are you doing this Donna? Why are you choosing her over us?" My stepfather John spits bitterly.
"You know her, you've helped me raise her since she was an infant John. She needs help, not to be drugged up and rotting in some institute." My mother snaps.
"She's not our little Eden anymore, she's been through a traumatic event that has changed her. She twenty-two for Christ's sake, let the hospital care for her so that our son and I can come home." John rants as tears form in my eyes, I love my stepfather. He's the only father I've ever known. We were so close up until the accident then everything changed, because of ME.
"She's my daughter-"
"What about her brother? What about OUR son Donna? Kyle is only eight, he doesn't understand why he can't see you! He doesn't understand that his sister is dangerous." He cuts her off as my heart plummets even more, I adore my little brother. I begged for years for a sibling and was over the moon when John and my mom got pregnant.
"John I'm not abandoning my daughter." My mother whispers weakly.
"Why are you chosing her over us?"
"Because I'm all she has John!" My mother shouts causing me to jump, "Her father is dead. I cannot stand around and watch that- that PLACE drug my child to death. She is my daughter, my first born! I will NOT turn my back on her and if you cannot accept that then you need to get the fuck out." She growls as my stepfather takes a few steps back in surprise.
"Even after everything, even after what she did to me?" He points out and she sighs.
"I know she's not well but she needs help not to be a drugged up shell of who she used to be, you know she would never hurt you-"
"But she did Donna, I can't put it past her not to hurt Kyle." He snaps before storming towards the door, "The divorce and costudy papers will be filed today. I hope you've made the right desicion chosing that monster over us," He adds before walking out and slamming the door behind him causing me to gasp.
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schiz·o·phre·ni·a noun 1. a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal...