thirteen

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As much as I didn't want to, I had to go home. Luke had assured me what felt like a billion times that I could stay over for as long as I wanted, but I felt like nothing but a burden on the 4 boys who were all sleep deprived and worried about me. I had to face my fears and go back to that place, whether I liked it or not, and it was better to do it sooner rather than later. I wish I could stay here forever, wrapped up in Luke's comfy bed sheets with his arms around me like I had done the past two nights, but I just couldn't.

The size of the bags under everybody's eyes was enough to convince me to leave.

So, with a few hugs and kisses to the cheek (Luke's lingering for just a little bit longer), Chloe and I left for home and I spent the entire drive psyching myself up, trying to prepare myself for the emotional fog that was sure to cloud around me as soon as I stepped through that front door. Chloe parked the car and we got out, linking arms as we walked through the complex and into the elevator.

"You all good?" Chloe asks me, and I nod. The elevator stops and we walk together to the door, Chloe unlocking it and stepping through first.

The fog ended up being a full pelt down of rain, drowning me in a weird feeling of regret mixed with sadness. I walked inside and found the parcel on the coffee table, where I had left it, my brothers fire truck still sitting in the same place on top and my throat tightened. I walked into my bedroom and into the bathroom, relieved when I found no traces of blood on the tiles.

"I cleaned it up for you" Chloe says from behind me.

"Sorry you had to do that. Thank you, so much" I sigh, turning around and hugging her tightly.

"Why don't we go out for a late lunch, it's only 5, everything should still be open" She suggests and I smile at her, nodding. "Ok, get ready quickly, we can decide a place on the way" With that, she scurries out of my room, leaving me to get prepared.

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"Night Katie"

"Night Chloe" I whisper, going into my bedroom and falling onto the mattress, groaning at the familiar comfortable feeling that passes through me. I sit my brothers toy truck on my bedside table, kissing it before placing it in front of the small framed photo of the two of us. I smile t the photo and shut off my light, falling asleep with a content smile on my face, a small aching feeling tugging at my chest at the memory of him.

"Katie poo" Jye giggles, chasing after me.

"You won't catch me! You're legs are too small!" I laugh, running away. I don't run as fast as I can though, allowing him to catch up to me a little bit. He's only 5, after all.

"Come back!" He shouts, laughing so hard that he trips over. I stop running and move over to him. His body started to shake. I had no idea what to do so I yelled out to my mum and she came rushing over, looking at him. I had heard her say something about a seizure but I was panicking too much to understand. Mum pulled out her phone, and held me away from Jye as she yelled into it, telling the person to get here quickly.

After a few minutes, I could hear a siren coming closer and closer and I looked around to see an ambulance at the park. I didn't know what they were doing here until they ran over to Jye. Mum pushed my head into her stomach so I couldn't see what was happening and she patted my hair, trying to stop me from crying. I turned my head slightly and saw them carrying Jye away to the ambulance. That was the last time I ever saw him outside of the hospital.

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