Hell on loop

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It'd been so long since he had left his art studio Julian thought blankly. Sitting at dinner table used to be his one of his favourite times of the day. Everyone's faces smiling laughing as they engaged in conversations with each other. Julian looked around the table there was only but there was only Emma, Kit and Tavvy. They sat in a silence, each mind in a different state.

"I'm going to check on Ty," Julian said a blank expression on his face.

Tavvy looked up at Julian his face composed.

"Julis when is Livvy coming home?" Tavvy asked.

Emma and Kit were still for a moment. Julian collapsed unable to move his body. Tavvy watched puzzled as Emma instantly went Julian's side.

Emma, who has known Julian for his whole life, had never in her life seen Julian more broken. She blocked him off so the others couldn't see the tear streaming from his face.

"She's gone...she is really gone isn't she Emma," Julian whispered looking at Emma his eyes going wild. Her heart was shattering at the site, she instantly cradled Julian in her arms.

Not taking her eyes off Julian, Emma asked Kit to take Tavvy to his room and check on Ty.

Kit held out a hand to the 7-year-old. "Come on let's go," Kit said a warm smile displayed across his face. They walked down the hall until they reached Tavvy's room. Kit turned around heading to go to in the opposite direction but something held him back. It was Tavvy, he was clutching onto Kit's sleeve.

"Kit, can you do me a favour?" Tavvy asked looking at the ground his hair covering his face.

Kit looked at him curiously.
"Sure what is it?"

"Look after him please...," Tavvy said

"Who? Julian? Oh don't worry he has Emma" Kit said disregarding his request

Tavvy held clutched tighter
"No...Ty, look after him. Something happened to Livvy, she won't back with him for a while. he has no one. He won't look after himself. You're the only one he...trusts" Tavvy said his voice shaking.

Kit stared at him stunned. He had never seen a child speak with such seriousness, let alone about a loved one dying. Kit kneeled down and put his hand on Tavvy's shoulders. Making direct eye contact.

"Did you know when came here Ty stayed outside my door until I came out. I thought he was so stupid, the halls in this place are freezing at night. No matter what I said to him from behind that door, he stayed. He never left. I will stay by his side. Even if my heart breaks even if my soul is crushed even if I die in the progress. I will always protect him" Kit said a cloud of defiance surrounding him.

Tavvy smiled his eyes filled with tears at him closing the door.

When Kit reached Ty's room the water was running, Kit leaned against the bathroom door. His hand reached for the knob. Suddenly he felt cold water on his feet. On impulse he opened the door to find Ty, under the shower, fully dressed sitting against the marble wall one leg bent, the other laid numb from the cold. His eyelids shut tight. His fists clenching and unclenching, the vivid memory going through his mind. The icy water splattered down on him, so hard it slightly bruised every inch of his body that was exposed.

Ty slowly looked up at Kit his eyes soulless. Kit ran to him, the cold water piercing his warm skin. Quickly he turned the taps off and lifted Ty in a bridal style. Kit sat Ty up on the bed now both soaked in water and handed him a towel. But he just sat there a blank expression on his face. Ty's lifeless arms fell to his side. His milk-white skin now scarred and lips red like a frosted rose from biting drown on them. Even in such a state Kit thought Ty was still beautiful, He looked like a fallen angel.

Kit pulled out of a daze started on Ty's hair with a towel. His hair usually a fluffy mess but now his bangs wet plastered to his head wet and brittle.

"Here put these on," Kit said to Ty handing him a pair of black jeans and a grey T-shirt.

When Ty finished changing, Kit turned around to face him then put a hand on Ty's forehead, unknowing how head he would react.

"I knew it," Kit said cursing under his breath while running his hand through his hair.

Ty ignore the comment

"your under average temperature" Kit said as slammed his head into a wall.

Ty watched Ki. His white t-shirt was still damp, stuck to his body so could see the lines that outlined his figure. Water dripped from his sunflower blond hair.

Breaking the silence Ty spoke.
"I can't live without her. I feel like I am walking through hell. I can't sleep at night because every time I close my eyes I picture her dying and all I can do is watch. And it won't stop, it won't stop because it's my fault-

Kit swirled on him, Picked him off the bed and pushed him against the wall. Both of Kit's arms worked together to prevent Ty from leavening. Ty looked up startled by Kit's gestures.

"No...don't say that," Kit said through gritted teeth.

"It's true. It's all my fault, I should have protected her, defended her but instead, she protected me she defended me. I'm so weak and pathetic I can't even protect myself. I wish I didn't have to wear headphones when I fight, I wish I didn't have to avoid eye contact when talking to a stranger I wish I could understand metaphors and figures of speech. This something wrong with me but I can't fix I'm weird I'm a freak and I am a goddamnit idiot. I wish wasn't like this " Ty said

Kit anger filling him
"You wish you weren't like what?you wish you weren't smart, brave, powerful. Your because you're the most beautiful person I've ever met inside and out. there is nothing wrong with you just see the world differently to other people and everyone sees the world differently. you're amazing the way you are and if anyone tells you to change tell them to fight me" Kit yelled

Kit could tell he was about to break, Ty's grey eyes glassy with tears.

Kit took Ty by the arm and lead him to the bed. Ty lay with his back turned to Kit on the left corner of the bed.

"Are you crying?" Kit asked
Ty shook his head and then he began to shake vigorously his breaths getting deeper.

"I'm fine," Ty said his voice unsteady

Kit rolled over and tightly wrapped his arms around Ty.

"I'm sorry if I startled you," Kit said turning Ty to face him then wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"Ty don't tell me you're fine if you're not. You can scream, you can cry, you can fully break down me for all I care. Just please don't hold back" Kit said

Ty buried his face into Kit's chest and Kit held him close as they slowly fell asleep in each other's arms.

If I wasn't like this...  (kit x ty)Read this story for FREE!