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The sky above was filled with clouds, covering the sun and making everything gloomier than it already was. Kind of like how I was feeling inside.

The grave yard was filled with faces that looked familiar from the outside but when I look at them, they all seem so distant. Almost like strangers.

"Don't be sad. Insha'allah they will be in heaven," someone said to me, hugging me tight for comfort.

But the thing was I didn't feel sad. In fact, I didn't feel anything. I was hollow from the inside. Everything seemed surreal to me, like this wasn't even my life. I was just watching as everything happened around me while I was frozen in place.

When we reached our house where the funeral was being held, our relatives approached me, hugging me and whispering words in my ear which I didn't hear. My mind was preoccupied with my brothers.

Ayman, my older brother, was sitting with some of my uncles by the door, greeting everyone who came to pay their respects. He looked so dull and gloomy as he politely thanked everyone who came to talk to him.

His black short hair was messy and looked like it needed washing. His hazel eyes had no spark in them. They looked so dark, like his soul died with our parents. Even his tanned skin looked pale and his face had a small beard for the first time in his life. His features aged years within the past day.

While Youssef, My little brother, was playing with our little cousins in the back yard. He was running after a football and laughing when he almost hit one of our older cousins with it.

He didn't know what was going on, or why the family was gathered here today. Or where our parents were. All he knew was that he got the day off from school to come here and for that he was happy. I didn't have the guts to tell him the truth. None of us did.

How do you tell a 7 year old boy that he will never see his parents again?

"Goddamn those drunk drivers," My grandma cried loudly next to me, "If Ali had listened to me years ago and never came to this damn country, still be with us now." She broke down sobbing and my aunts ran to calm her a bit while I got up and walked away silently out of the house.

I can't stand when people cry in front of me. Why are they even crying? It's not like tears would bring them back. It's not like their sadness would make any difference.

Leaning on a tree in our back yard, I watched Youssef from afar. He was so oblivious to what was happening around him. Everyone was crying and sobbing inside while he was kicking a ball around and laughing with his mates.

I was supposed to be grieving with everyone else inside but I just couldn't. I had to be strong and pretend nothing happened for Youssef and Ayman's sake. They had no one else but me. Our whole life was about to be turned around and the only thing that will never change in our lifes' is that fact that we will always have each other.

"Iman, can I talk to you for a second?" My thoughts were interrupted by my uncle. I nodded and he continued talking, "How are you my child?"

"Fine." I forced a smile, knowing that any other answer would lead to unwanted consolations.

"I know you are supposed to move in with mom and dad but I was thinking. If you kids want to stay here and not move back to Egypt, maybe you can stay with me, if you want." I looked at my uncle and saw my dad in his big brown eyes. Uncle Adam and my dad were the closest. Looking back at my grandma, she was still sobbing and I knew I had made my decision.

"Yes, I want to stay here."



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