Chapter 10

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(Colby POV)

I was not okay. I don't know why.

But I wasn't showing it. I just stared at the ground, a solemn look on my face probably. I just felt a sinking feeling. I don't know why.

No, I do know why. I am scared Sam still hates me. I feel like a horrible person. I'm doing that stupid thing where I am fine one second and not the next. I hate it because I can't stop it.

When I saw the front door open with a camera poking through, I put my camera personality on. Happy, fun, bubbly.

"Colbyyyyy!" Brennen yelled.

"Brennen!" I said standing up and smiling.

"How has your day been man? I got something." Brennen said.

"Ooooh what?" I asked.

"Giant bag of gummy worms." He said smiling like a little kid. The Brennen filming right now was real Brennen. Nice, funny, and just like a little kid. Camera Brennen was usually a fuck boy, loud, weird dude. I liked real Brennen.

"No way!" I said sitting down and looking in the bag. There were so many. "Why did you buy so much of these?" I asked laughing.

"Cause fucking candy, man. Gummy worms are my shit." He said.

"They are literally the same as gummy bears."

"UGH, how could you say that?!" He said pretending to be offended.

We both laughed and he turned the camera off. I dropped my fake ass smile and reached into the bag, grabbing a few gummy worms.

"So, how's your day been?" Brennen asked grabbing some gummy worms also.

We were just talking and sitting on the floor eating gummy worms.

"Eh, boring." I said shrugging.

"You feeling okay?" He asked.

I looked at him for a second, basically saying 'No, very much not, but I kinda don't want to talk about it.' Which he caught onto. He nodded and grabbed more gummy worms.

"So, how's your day been?" I asked.

"I just filmed with my mom today and stuff. I ran into Corey."

"Really? That's cool." I said.

"Yeah, we were both at Target." Brennen said.

It was quiet for a moment. I grabbed more gummy worms, he pulled the bag away from me.

"Okay damn, stealing all my gummy worms bitch."

"There is literally a whole medium sized birthday bag full of gummy worms!" I said.

"They go fast." He said shrugging.

I laughed.

But the happy feeling left fast. Now I was just feeling like shit for nothing.

"I think I'm gonna take a walk." I said standing up.

"Really? It's like 9pm." He said.

I put my shoes on, "Yeah but, I need some air." I said.

I suddenly felt claustrophobic. Like the walls of this apartment were closing in on me. I struggled to get my other shoe on.

"Colby, you okay?" Brennen asked.

"Yes. Just-" I finally got my shoe on, I jumped up and fast walked to the door. "Fine. I'm fine. B-be back soon."

I walked out of the door and closed it. Breathing heavy. I shook my head and put my hood on and walked out to the street.

Again, LA air, not very fresh, but it felt nice to get out.

Cars sped by, most of the people driving having somewhere to go. I felt lost right now. Though, I knew exactly where I was.

I walked down the street.

Overwhelmed. That's what happened. I was overwhelmed, again. That happens a lot. I think too much and I break, trying to let everything out.

Man, I wish I could see Sam. Yes, it had been awkward this afternoon, but  again, I miss him. It's just like high school again, where we hated being apart for long periods of time. I hope he misses me like I miss him.

I felt a drop of water hit my face. What the hell? Is it.. is it raining? More water fell on me. It's raining!

I looked up at the sky. It never rains here, this is awesome!

I felt the need to tell Sam. I wonder if he misses the rain too.

Colby: Hey, dude it's raining!
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He didn't answer. He is probably driving.

I kept walking, enjoying the soft rain falling. The city lights kept everything bright.

Calm, that's what I felt now. I was calm. The rain was calm.

My phone vibrated and I took it out of my pocket. It was Sam.

"Hey Sam. " I said. And immediately everything bad flooded my body.

'He hates you. He is calling to say he hates you.' That's what was running through my mind.

"Hey Colby. I know it's like 9 pm but do you want to hang out? I uh, I need to talk." He said. His voice sounded so soft and gentle. Something was wrong.

"Yeah yeah. Um, I'm about a block from Brennen's. Do you just want to meet out front there?" I asked.

"Yeah. See you soon." He said hanging up.

I started walking back. I realized I was now all wet from the rain, but I didn't really mind.

I got back to the front of the apartments and waiting for a few minutes. Sam pulled up not to long later.

"Hey." I said getting in.

"Hey, why are you all wet?" He asked looking at me.

"I went for a walk in the rain. It felt nice." I said shrugging.

He nodded, "Yeah, the rain is nice." He said looking out his window.

"So, where do you want to go?" I asked.

"Back to the house if that's cool. We could just hang out in my room." Sam said.

"Yeah, sure." I said.

So we started driving.

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