Chapter 1

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Keith P.O.V.

Breathing in the cold air, I relax as I sit near the cliff on top of the mountain of tall, huge rocks, trees surrounding the background separating me from the world. It started snowing about two minutes ago and the dark ground already had a light coat of snow covering it.

I could feel the cold, but it did nothing to me, no shiver, no hair rising on my body, no jaw shaking. Not when I could feel no emotion within. 

This spot was my sanctuary. The only place I could come when I felt like I lost all hope which was a lot more often than I would like to admit to anyone. The place I would finally put an end to it all when I just couldn't take it anymore; when the last drop tips the cup over and I'm just about to get tipped over.

This place brought a sense of peace that no other place has brought me. In some sick way, seeing the darkness around me, feeling the cold breeze, seeing the snow following, it all filled me up to the brim like nothing else has ever done with some sort of, I do not want to say happiness because it's not, but I feel content when I'm here. 

The first time I came here was in freshman year, noticing it's the emptiness surrounding it, I claimed it. I first found it walking by it with my sister(her utter oblivious features would not let her remember this place. One because we passed by it in a rush, and secondly she was glued to her phone), since there is walkway just on the other side of this mountain of rocks and trees people could both walk, run, jog and do what they pleased with it. This section was never really used since it's more on the creepy side and it's not really pleasing if I say so myself.

Today marks my fourth year coming here; making me a senior in high school. I was a particularly good student. I have a 3.50 GPA, I have yet to miss a day of class. I really do love school. Beside this place, school, reading, and other substances are the only things that keep me grounded. People have yet to keep me grounded. They all at one point in my life end up letting me down.

I'll tell you a little about myself, I am 17-years-old. I am 6 feet 2 inches tall. I weigh 180 pounds but look slimmer than my actual weight, earning the constant comments "Keith, boy you need to eat, you're so skinny" or "you should hit the gym and put muscle on that skinny body of yours." If only they knew how disgusted I was with how I looked and how much I wanted to lose all the fat on my body or die. That was just as good. My hair was more on the short-medium length and a dark brown almost black color, I wore beanies most of the time, even during summer. My eyes were dark brown and my skin tone was fair, a tad darker with the sun during the summer. I attended Bridgeway High. I read for fun, and I love spending time alone. 

I live with my religious family that includes my mother, two younger sisters, and a younger brother. I have a best friend named Leo. I have severe depression, anxiety, I am suicidal, I self-loath myself and I have social anxiety. All of these are hidden factors that no one knows because they are too blind to notice. My best friend Leo knows about a few, one he doesn't and will never be that I used to be in love with him. Used to, because I gave up on the fact that I will never be good enough for him, for anyone for that matter. I am just a ticking bomb waiting to explode at any moment and who wants to be with someone as fucked up as me? He's bisexual (in the closet as well from his family, not his friends) and in a relationship with a really pretty and nice, friendly girl, that even I can't hate since she's so friendly. 

I live a constant battle in my head that I am trying to conquer.

I don't know how to come out of this rut. I can't remember the last time I was actually happy. I actually smiled or laughed sincerely. I can't remember the last time I wasn't being fake with everyone that surrounded me. Fake, in the sense that I pretended to be something I wasn't, not that I wasn't honest. Because that is one of my worst qualities. Being honest about what bothers me about others, except when it comes about my family being homophobic and on topics that they talk about that bothers me, besides that, I pretend to be something I'm not. That's probably why they do not notice how angry I am at the world. How depressed I am. How, there's a gray cloud that covers me and I can't seem to outrun it. 

Looking around I see more snow has covered the ground and the front of my boots were barely noticeable. I take out my phone and check the time; 9:45 pm. I take a deep breathe seeing it as a big blob in front of my face. I yawn a bit loudly and hear someone beside me chuckle making me turn around quickly getting almost whiplash. I see a guy just a few feet away sitting and staring up at the sky. He looks down and stares deep into my eyes making me look away.

"Tired?" He asks me. I can hear the laughter in his voice.

"Beautiful night isn't it?" He asks when I don't reply to his first question. Great, someone found my spot.

I get up from where I am seated and dust my pants off, my hands right after. I start walking away from the stranger who so rudely decided to invade my privacy when I hear him speak again.

"I'm Landon, just moved here. Hope I see you around." he says as I ignore him leaving. Yeah, I hope I never do invader.

Yeah, I started a new story, because why not? I need to keep myself busy while I brainstorm for the other stories. Let me know what you think of this first chapter and what you think the story will be about or will happen? What did you think of Keith? How do you think he will be during the story? Landon?

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