DUGOUT ★ The Game is Mine

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The diamond

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The diamond. According to society it's a girl's best friend.

This is 100% true.

I have to catch you there, though, because I'm not talking about the sparkly rock. The diamond I dream about is the baseball field. That unattainable space of sand, lime, grass and glory where history is made and curses are broken.

To me, life is like baseball. Everything is a metaphor to the game. And if you don't believe me I'll give you an example.

Introducing: The Diamond Stages to Romance.

- At Bat: Congratulations, your turn was successful and you have a hit! Now go forth and make a run of it, champ.

- First Base: Here is where you hold hands and worry about whether your palm sweat is grossing the other person out. And why do palms have to sweat, anyway? Isn't it enough with armpits?

- Second Base: Not only do you get a pretty great view of the diamond, your team mates and audience, but this is where you have that magical moment where you get closer to that special person, and you start breathing in the same hot and humid air that is actually CO2 and that in high concentrations is poisonous — and hey, this might actually be poison coursing through your veins right now because suddenly you feel like air is not making it into your lungs anymore, and you're light headed and your heart is running as if it were your feet the ones doing the running, even though you know they're planted firmly on this base and then... and then, your lips meet and the announcer overhead lets everybody know the game is definitely getting exciting now.

- Third Base: And so you keep going forward and touch third base, because you have one job, one goal. And you feel hands coming to meet you and you send yours out for scouting new territories as well, and what you discover fascinates you and weirds you out a little bit. Some people have bats in their pants, after all.

- Home: The crowd is going crazy, you are going crazy. Home is right on sight, and it's both scary and exhilarating and when you look back you wonder, did it really take that long to get all the way here? But there you are, and you're ready. You've been preparing yourself for the exact moment your foot touches home, and all the emotions come rushing at you at the same time as the blood rushes and... Oh. Yes. Oh, yes!

You: 1.

World: Who cares.

Not convinced yet? Okay, you can test me. Here goes.

A birth could be described like: baby's out of the dugout.

You did really badly in that AP Math pop quiz, and if your mom finds out she won't take you shopping today for that gorgeous prom dress you saw at the mall. In such case, your count is 3:2*.

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