Does Love Really Exist? {Sequel to Love Exists?}

Chapter 13

Jak's POV

I wake up feeling happy as ever. Everything in life is going so well for the first time in a very long time. Rocco's asleep next to me, Trinity and Seth are coming over to hang out tonight after classes. Me and Rocco are both working later tonight as well. Somehow, even though we're both dealing with University stress, work stress, and then everything else on top of that, none of that even makes a dent in our happiness of being together.

Rocco yawns and stretches as he wakes up, fluttering his eyes. He rubs his soft brown eyes with a small shy smile, "Good morning."

"Morning, Angel," I reply, kissing his forehead. He rests his head against my chest smiling softly.

"I'm never going to get used to waking up next to you. It's a miracle," he mumbles, finding my hand and holding on to it tightly.

"I know. You're such a cutie when you wake up," I say making him blush and hide his face in his pillow.

"Shut up, Jak," he whines.

I laugh and pull him closer to me easily.

"Plans for today?" Rocco asks after a few moments of silence.

"To cuddle for the whole day right here," I suggest.

"Unfortunately no. I know we both have work and classes to go to."

I sigh dramatically, "alright Fine. Don't know how I'll manage that without you."

He giggles and smiles up at me, "It's not as though we'll be that far apart." He rolls his eyes.

"Okay, Okay. Let's get up," I sigh.

Rocco gets changed into a pair of new plain blue jeans and a black t-shirt. Whereas I'm wearing a pair of khakis and a light blue shirt.

And we're out the door.

It's becoming a regular routine for us to go through all of this. It seems so mundane and boring but for us, it feels like every day is amazing. Simply just because we're together and we're alive. I've never been more grateful.

But of course all good things have to come to an end.

I'm sitting at a bench outside, underneath the sun, drinking a coffee when I see the tall, muscular brunette with the sharp Mexican boy. Dylan and Diego.

Of course they had to show up and ruin my fantastic day.

They're across the field, holding hands and smiling at each other. I never really thought that Dylan really liked the other guy. I always thought they were just with each other for sex. For just lust or something. But here they are in a park, happy and fluffy. Like any other relationship. Like they're falling in love.

And my heart drops.

My heart, heavy and jealous, sinks inside me making my stomach twist and my mind go blank, draining the world to grey.

I'm happy with Rocco.
I'm happier than ever with Rocco.
I love him.
I love him way more than I ever loved Dylan.
But that doesn't mean that I didn't love Dylan. I still did. I still put time and effort and soul into our relationship. I gave him everything. He gave back. We were together. We were in love. We were happy.

It hurts.

It hurts a lot that he chose someone over me. That he didn't need or want me anymore but stayed in fear of hurting me, maybe still in love with the memories but no longer in love with me. He stayed, too scared to break things off, but he hurt me so much more than if he just left at the start without cheating. Without me having to walk in on him making out with some other guy.

I'm jealous. I get it. I think I get him. He didn't want to hurt me because he didn't want me anymore. He didn't want me to get hurt in his pursue for something more right than us. But he cheated. He was with someone else while pretending to still be in love with me. He picked someone over me.

I don't blame him for not feeling right in the relationship anymore. I sort of felt the same subconsciously. I was almost relieved when he left. But he didn't tell me. And that's why it all hurts so much. Because he wouldn't even tell me that he no longer felt right where we were. That I had to find out on my own. That after everything, there still wasn't any form of communication in our relationship.

Dylan and Diego share a small kiss from far away and the world spins around me, blurring out everything except for them. Those two people who have caused too much pain in people's lives, mine and Rocco's, but who have finally found happiness.

The grey of the world makes me want to throw up because I know I am happy where I am, but for some reason I'm still jealous that my ex-boyfriend got the happy ending I never thought he deserved. That even though he bullied Rocco, he made Rocco break up with me, he cheated on me, he still somehow is with a probably really sweet boy and he's happy. He's living a good life. How is that fair?

The dark world feels too heavy on my not strong enough shoulders. So I stagger to my feet and make my way to the building next to the park, one of the Campus buildings.

I walk into the bathroom, leaning against the sinks and catching my breath to calm myself down.

I pull out my phone and dial his number. He picks up on the third ring.

"Jak?" His voice hurts my chest but I don't regret calling him.

"Hi. I know I shouldn't be calling you, but I..." I don't know why I called him. I don't know what I want to say to him.

"I never got to tell you that I'm sorry. I didn't even really realize what I was doing until it was too late. I was too selfish," Dylan says.

"I wanted to tell you that it's okay. I forgive you for everything. I don't know how long you were with him before I found out, but it's okay. I get it. You just didn't feel it with me anymore. The spark was pretty much all gone. I'm glad, you're happy, Dylan," I say.

"Thank you. I haven't been able to sleep great, wondering how mad at me you were or how much I hurt you. I feel so guilty all the time. So, thank you. It means a lot. I was just so scared to hurt you. I still care about you and I still love you even though I'm not in love with you. I want you to be happy too. I never meant to hurt you, I was just confused and scared," he confesses.

"It's okay. Honestly, yeah I am jealous and I'm hurt but I get it. You're happy and so am I. Me and Rocco are giving us another shot and things are going really great. We were good together, but we'll be better apart. I forgive you for everything," I say. And I mean it. I do forgive him, I'm not even sure if I blamed him in the first place.

"Thank you. I've got to get to class, so I'll see you around, Jak."

"Okay. Goodbye."

"Bye."

And somehow that closure was enough for the world to revert back to its regular colours and my stomach to unknot and for my lungs to let out the soft breath I didn't even realize I was holding. Like it somehow was enough to right all the wrongs.

"It's okay," I whisper to my reflection.

And I believe it.

It's all finally okay.

And so, I go to my next class feeling as though I've finally moved into the next chapter of my life.

Okay. So sorry. This is overdue and shorter than normal. I'm sick and I'm really stressed with school but I promise I'll update again soon.

See you in the future,
-Ellie :)