Something Wonderful - Sanvers

Ch. 4 - Emails

I haven't updated in years and I'm so sorry for that! I'm failing 3 of my classes right now and I'm not in the best place mentally, but oh well! Here's a short chapter just so I can post SOMETHING.
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"What do you want me say? Do you want me to spill my every thought while you play therapist? You're no therapist and you're no wiser than me, so what's the point? Just please leave me alone.

-D"

"I know I'm not a therapist. I also know I'm not good at this stuff, the emotional stuff, but I want to help you. I want to be there, even if there is just on your computer screen. Let me an interactive journal. You just write what your feeling and I'll try to help in any way I can. It's ridiculous, but sometimes ridiculous is easier.

-Maggs"

"What about "no" do you not understand? Please leave me alone. I don't need your help.

-D"

"I was 14 when I was kicked out of my home. I did nothing wrong, but at the time I blamed myself. My parents hated me - who I was. It didn't take long for their hate to turn into my own. I hated everything, everyone, and mostly myself. The things they said about me affected the way I saw the world.

When I was 15, I took pills. I took a lot of pills and one day I decided it didn't matter if I took too many. The feeling of being high wasn't enough to fix what was wrong with me, so I took all my pills. Me being a dumb 15 year old didn't know it would've taken me almost twice as many pills to kill me. When I woke up, I had never wanted to die more. I was still on the couch. My aunt, who I went to when I was kicked out, hadn't noticed I was asleep missing school. She didn't notice that I wasn't okay. What she did notice was that when I woke up, I puked everywhere. I was punished for that.

It took me years to accept myself and even now I struggle. Sometimes I almost take pills again because I miss the feeling of not feeling, but I don't. That's because I have people and I want to be your people. Let me support and help you. Don't be scared to let me see what you're thinking, because chances are, it's not as bad as some of the thoughts I've had.

-M"

"I'm really sorry. I didn't realize. I'm just not good at opening up, especially over email. But really, I'm sure my sister is just putting you up to making me spill me thoughts.

-D"

"Well if email is hard, why don't we try this IRL? We can have a cup of covfefe or tea or maybe a little something stronger. I can come pick you up on my bike =D.

-M"

"Okay, first of all did you REALLY just use "=D". I know there's an age difference here, but I didn't think I was talking to a twelve year old!
Second, unless you have a tandem bike, I don't see how that would work.
And third, I'm DEFINITELY not up to go anywhere. I'd rather stick to emailing. Who even emails anymore?

-D"

"By bike, I mean motorcycle, though I guess you older folk don't know how us milineals talk. And you're right, nobody emails, by then again, you as an elderly person wouldn't know, would you? Maybe if you can figure out how to use a cell phone, you can text me at 409-945-8880!

-M"

"Okay, RUDE. You're barely even a millennial. I'm more millennial than you, and I even know how to spell it! Plus, isn't it kind of inappropriate for you to be giving me your number? I am your professor after all, if I even still am a professor? Either way it still doesn't seem appropriate.

-D"

"What do you mean if you're still a professor? You are coming back, right? I can't handle this douche that's taken over. He likes to talk about politics in the middle of lectures, and he isn't very lenient to anyone who tries to counter him. He went on a 10 minute tangent about how god made dicks and vaginas because they go together. I very much wanted to punch him in his self riotous face. But we all miss you Dr. Danvers!

-M"

"How would you know? You literally never came to class on time. Like I don't believe you've ever attended a full lecture. And I'm not sure if I'm coming back. And please drop the Dr. It makes this feel too formal. Either Alex or Danvers will do just fine. But I hope that guy gets fired. I would come back, but I just feel like if I do, everyone will pity me or whatever. Pity isn't my thing.

-D"

"Well Danvers it is then. It's less weird than calling you Alex. And I can't guarantee you that you won't be pitied, but I can guarantee you that nobody will judge you.

-M"

"But they will, everyone always does."