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Pen Your Pride

Haunting Pasts

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"You never want to hang out anymore, Elizabeth!" Abigail whined like a little girl. It wasn't that I didn't want to hang out with her, I had just been keeping to myself since Justin and I kissed. "Do you have a boyfriend or something?" She was joking but in my head, I was asking the same thing. Did I have a boyfriend? One kiss didn't mean anything. Or did it mean everything? I was avoiding Justin once again simply because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't just be like hey, I really liked your lips on mine, let's do it again sometime. I also knew I couldn't avoid him forever. I think I was finally coming to terms with the fact that I really did have feelings for this boy. I had tons of butterflies in my stomach every time I was around him but for some reason my guard was still up.

"I kissed someone." I admitted.

Her jaw hit the floor and came back up again. "No way!" She screeched.

"Shh." I directed her. She giggled and covered her mouth. "You are way too excited, Abigail."

"Elizabeth! When is the last time you kissed a boy? I'm not overreacting, this is so big, this should be on the front cover of a magazine!"

I faked a laugh. I didn't usually turn to Abigail for things like this, I never even needed to talk about anything like this before though.

"So who?" She questioned. "Come on, I won't tell."

I half doubted that. Abigail was my best friend and had been for so long. She'd trusted me with everything in her life, sometimes too much, the least I could do is trust her with this. I bit my lip in hesitation. "Justin."

"Justin? Who's Justin?" Her smile faded. I guess it wasn't juicy enough gossip for her since she didn't know him.

"His name is Justin Bieber. He's... Older."

"How much older?" She became excited again.

"Well, he's twenty." I had never really thought about the age difference before. I was seventeen and he was twenty and although it was only three years, I couldn't help but feel that could be an issue in the future. My phone started ringing and of course, it was Justin.

"Uh, hi." It was the first time I had talked to him since the kiss.

"How are you?" The enthusiasm in his voice that I had answered was so cute it made me shiver with butterflies.

"I'm good, I mean, I'm okay. How are you?" I didn't want to sound like I was perfectly fine without him nor did I want to sound obsessive. Truthfully, he hadn't left my mind since the circus. If that's obsessive, then I should've punished myself right then and there. I could tell he didn't stop thinking about me either, though. The difference between him and I was that he could express when he was interested in someone, when he missed them, when he wanted more. I, on the other hand, could never do that even if I wanted to. Which, I didn't.

"I'm good. Look, I know you've been avoiding me. But I really want to see you. Can we hang out later tonight?"

"It's a school night."

"I'll have you home by eight then. Let's go out at five."

"Go where?" In reality, I really was happy he'd invited me out. I couldn't let that show, though. Especially when Abigail could hear everything we were saying.

"To dinner. Or to my place. Wherever, honestly. Wherever you want."

"Paris." I laughed.

"You're so cute. Maybe not Paris, I'm more of an Italy guy."

I laughed again.

"But really, will you go? Please. I want to pick you up at your house, so if you will text me your address."

"I will."

Abigail screamed in excitement and I ended the call as fast as I could, embarrassed by her loud personality. She hugged me tight to express, even more, just how excited she was. So,stokes it annoyed me how excited she was but this time, it made me think how Justin could actually be a positive thing for me. She ran over to my closet and began pulling out different combinations of outfits for me to try on. I didn't feel like trying any on do I just sat there with a blank expression.

"Oh, god. I know that face. What's wrong?" She sat down next to to me. Abigail was like a chameleon. She could be an overly excited airhead one minute, and the next, in the blink of an eye, be your shoulder to cry on and more.

"Nothing. I just haven't been on a date since..."

"Since last weekend." She reminded me.

"Well, yeah." I laughed. "But I mean, a serious date."

She put her arm around me. "It'll be alright. Forget about that. It's in the past."

"Yeah, well the does have a way of haunting people." I was starting to tear up and I knew this was only going to end in tears. "I literally haven't stopped thinking about it since it happened."

"I know. It's hard and I also know it's a sensitive subject for you. But give this boy a chance. You can't blame him for something that someone else did. He really likes you. You'd be dumb to pass him up."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I still had a bad feeling in my stomach, but I knew she was right for once. I needed to move on from my past and leave it just there, in the past. We tried on more outfits and finally I settled on dark skinny jeans, a royal blue top, and nude heels. I wore my hair straightened and my makeup light. By 4:30, I was ready to go. Telling my parents where I was going, wouldn't be so easy.

I walked down the stairs to ask them if it was okay that I went. Both of them were sitting in the living room. My dad was reading a book and my mom was braiding Madison's hair.

"Hi, guys."

"What's up, El?"

"Justin asked me on a date."

My dad slammed his book shut. "Who is Justin?"

"This boy. He wants to pick me up in half an hour and go to dinner. Is that alright?"

"Can we meet him?" My mom asked.

I rolled my eyes. "The first date? Absolutely not." Madison laughed.

"What, Madison?" My mom wanted to know what she was laughing at. Because she had to know everything.

"Let her go, mom. This is like a once in a lifetime thing."

"I'll tell you what." My dad reasoned. "If you go tonight, you can't go on a second date without us meeting him. And be back early because you have school tomorrow."

I could tell my mom didn't approve but it didn't matter because what my dad said went. So now all that was left to do was wait for him to arrive.

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