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Chapter 15 – In Which I Run Away

Deer Luhan,

This week, I’ve discovered why I’d never, ever want to be a celebrity.  It’s fine when things are going well, except perhaps a few over-zealous fans who try to steal your underwear, but when things go wrong… you need mental health like a brick wall or a bulldozer of an immunity system.  It’s horrible.  I hope you’re not going to get any of this thrown at you when you come back.


“Let me get this straight,” Baekhyun said around a mouthful of hospital food.  “You ended up in Korea posing as Luhan because the manager thought you were concussed and drunk and you didn’t have enough coffee to tell something was wrong before you got on the plane?”

I went tomato red.  “Yeah, pretty much.”

Baekhyun laughed for a second, but then winced with pain and contented himself with a smirk.

“For starters, why did nobody think it was a good idea to take you to hospital, and doesn’t that mean you’re worryingly addicted to caffeine?”

I just grimaced.  Baekhyun lifted up his bowl of soup with his left hand and slurped down the entire thing in one shot.

“I think that’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard,” he told me.  “Who else knows you’re a girl?”

“Pretty much all of K now,” I told him.  While it had taken our manager under a full hour and hundreds of angsty calls to cancel all our upcoming activities until after Christmas, it had taken Baekhyun a full day and several angsty calls to Luhan before he’d come round to the whole idea of it being more than mine and Luhan’s life’s worth to rat me out.  From his body posture – he’d cramped himself over on the other side of the bed and had still been pretty pissed off with me over getting shot when Chanyeol had finally allowed me into the room that morning – he was still uncomfortable being near me, but he was at least making an effort to be nice.

“So how did everybody find out?” he asked me.

“Well, it was Luhan’s idea,” I began, ticking them all off on my fingers.  “I told Sehun myself and it wasn’t until we were in international airspace that he believed me.  You heard me discussing it with Luhan; Chanyeol has brains; D.O. overheard Sehun flipping his sh*t at Luhan and may or may not have seen me in pyjamas; and Kai kind of accidentally felt me up.”

Baekhyun choked on his water.  I almost reached across and patted him on the back, but he coughed it out.

“Kai kind of accidentally felt you up,” he echoed.  “Wow.”

“Wait!”  I waved my hands frantically.  “That makes it sound worse than it actually was!”

He leant back against the raised mattress and looked over at me.  “So what actually happened with Kai?”

“I tripped when he was re-teaching me all the dances and he caught me around the chest.  His hands were here and he seemed kind of surprised….”  I gestured.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow.  “You mean he full out groped you, not ‘kind of’ felt you up.”

“It’s not—!  But… oh God.  He didn’t mean it!”

“Kai’s a straight guy,” Baekhyun told me, struggling to speak around his laughter.  “Are you sure?”

“Kai’s not perverted,” I eventually managed, but that only made him laugh harder.  “Okay, I know that sounds ridiculous coming from me, but he’s really not.  And stop laughing – it’s going to hurt you.”

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