"Do you wanna--"
"I do not wanna build a snowman if that's what your suggesting." Matt said, running his long fingers through his untidy brown hair. I smiled as he held my hand. I had instrument hands, my mom used to say. Hands made to play instruments. We used to paint together. She was amazing. I really miss her.
"Avi are you okay?" Matt asked. He looked at me with his green eyes. I hadn't noticed I was crying. Pain splattered tear drops on my shirt. I never really talked about my mother to anyone. Somehow I felt like it was okay to talk about it. I sat on one of the giant rocks by the trees and Matt followed suit.
"Don't give me that bullshit. I'm sure as hell you're not fine." He said grabbing my hands in between his larger ones.
"Okay, maybe I'm not. It's just that sometimes I keep things bottled up inside and a memory or a word or a random action can break the delicately thin glass bottle. This time it was a memory. I'm sorry you were there to witness." I said. I could tell he was wanting to pry but he wouldn't because he could read my facial expression.
He lifted his hand up to my face. He wiped my tears away with his thumb.
"You know I would try to figure out what memory made you cry and why it did but it would be impossible. Hah! I should call you that. My impossible girl." He said smiling. I gave him a weak crooked smile back. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack if gum. I grabbed one and took the wrapper off.
"Don't rip it because I use them for something." He said. I shrugged and gave him the wrapper. He started to fold it this way and that. Opening and closing. Flipping and rotating. Then all of a sudden he pulled two flaps on either sides and it became a swan.
I gasped and he chuckled. It was minuscule in his hands. He gave it to me.
"As a symbol of our friendship. My Impossible Girl, please don't cry anymore, the swan will keep you happy. Keep him." He said. I grinned at him. He brushed my bangs out of my eyes. I pulled him into a long embrace. He held me tight and he smelled like chai tea.
I held onto him even tighter. Not because I wanted to feel stronger, I didn't want him to let go.
He was an illusion. If I looked away for too long he would disappear.
I didn't know but I was falling for his eyes because they didn't know me yet.
He was a drizzle and I was a hurricane. Everything grows when he's around but I destroy everything in my wake.
I don't want to destroy him.
YOU ARE READING
Skinny Love: (adjective) When two persons love each other but are too shy to admit it, but still show they do. So no. This story is not how I battled an eating disorder or anything like that. It's about bravery. It's about love and it's about loss...