I woke up earlier than I usually do, I hadn't showered the night before so I went for one this morning. Morning showers seem to be more refreshing to me and wake me up more, I guess.
After drying my hair and styling it, I added my dark make up to my eyes and dressed myself in a Nirvanna t-shirt and my usual black skinny jeans with purple Adidas hi tops.
I had to continue wearing my bracelets, to cover up the healing cuts and scars. I still felt very cautious about them and wanted to cover them up all the time. I knew that by now my wrists were completely torn and possibly scared for life.
I sat at the kitchen table drinking my monster while I waited to leave for school. I pondered wether or not to go in later rather than now. I mean I didn't really need to, since my timetable wasn't going tone ready till next Monday an it's only Wednesday.
As I thought of going in later to so some art work and collect the rest of my music stuff I had done previously, I was just going to lounge about, or possibly write some songs if I wanted to.
I descended upstairs to my room and went on Twitter for a while, nothing seemed interesting other than Black Veil Brides US tour announcement, which I was definitely going to attend.
I played Christina Perri's song Human and sang along. I felt it sink in and realised that all I've been doing is faking a smile and faking a laugh. I was fed up of doing all of that, and just by listening to her sing and me singing along, it left me in a pool of tears.
I was tired of everything. I was most definitely only human, and I can't take much more pain than I already have. I've only felt pain more frequently when I was 10 and every since then it was everyday. I cant take much more, I feel helpless. But feeling pain is better than being numb and then it comes crashing down all at once.
I cleaned my smudged make up and re-applied it and looked at the time, it would be lunch by now. I picked my bag up and went to the kitchen for another monster.
"Why are you not in school yet?" Zacky asked, I hadn't realised he was here.
"I don't need to be in school for the rest of the week, I'm going to do some art and collect my music stuff" I told him and he briefly nodded.
Nothing been said, I left the kitchen and walked past Lorena as she simply glared at me. I made my way down the sidewalk and felt really uncomfortable as someone's presence behind me made me feel uneasy.
Making it into school safely, I got stares from everyone. My eyes were probably somewhat red and puffy but I didn't exactly care. I checked in and went to music first to collect my work and went straight to art.
I sat up the back with my earphones in and drew a silhouette that had a rope around its neck, hanging from a tree. I drew the tree and added in lots of detail with the leafs and the dark mood around it and soon started painting it. The silhouette was obviously black and I made the sky a dark depressing grey and the leafs, tree, and ground a dark green, brown and grey mix.
I stayed at school till 5 and I was pretty exhausted. I didn't realise I was here this late until Mr Ohnstand announced he was going home just as I finished my painting. I cleaned my stuff away and left the room as he locked it and walked down the corridor with me.
"I hear that you've decided to drop all you're subjects except from Art and Maths?" he spoke, he seemed pretty happy that I carried on with art.
"Yeah, I didn't enjoy any of my other subjects. Art and Maths are my only ones I enjoy, pretty weird for me to say that I like maths, most people hate math" I laughed slightly.
"I loved Math when I was in high school, but art was more appealing to me" he said and I nodded in agreement. He was one of my favourite teachers, and was really funny too.
"So what do you plan on doing in you're future?" he asked.
I didn't need to think about this one.
"I want to be a tattoo artist. Art is a passion to me and it's basically all I've done my whole life as well as music" I said, talking about art and music did being a smile to my face.
"You're dad is a musician, right?"
"Yeah, he is. But I'd rather do something I want and picked up myself, rather than follow on what he does. It's more me, than him" I said. I guess I did pick up my music from him but I knew all I needed to know about music and how to play and write music. I just wanted to further my art knowledge rather than music.
I walked home quite quickly as I kept feeling someone's presence behind me, again. I made it home, but my breathing was heavy and I'm sure Matt noticed as I walked in.
"Did you run home or somethig?" Matt asked. I shook my head.
"Someone keeps following me, and it's really starting to scare me" I pouted.
His facial expression changed. It was confused but slightly happy. I had no idea why he was happy, maybe because I told him something. I never did tell him or anyone anything, and I was pretty surprised myself too.
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Save Me (Zacky Vengeance)Fanfiction
Ashley Carlile is the daughter of Zacky Vengeance. Her mom died when she was 10, and 14 when her big sister Jasmine died. She finds herself moving to Huntington to live with her dad and his fiancee Lorena. Ashley and Lorena don't get along. While As...