“Commencement. We will see you at Commencement.”

I don’t know who said it but I was thankful. We all walked out quickly before anyone else can start to actually cry.

Note to self: My friends and I should not go grocery shopping together. Especially since one is particular about the food she buys. Zoe got a text from her mother saying that she needed to go out and get chicken, wraps and stuff to go in the wraps for dinner, so to Zehrs we went. Zoe, however is very particular about the food she buys so splitting up was not an option. She had to look at everything she was going to buy to make sure it was the right kind. I only felt bad for Kyle, he was the only guy and he was getting dragged around a grocery store with 4 girls as crazy as us. 

We finally finish, after trying to split up and take pictures of the food to send to Zoe to see if it was the right kind, which didn't work. Since it was in the area we went to Wendy's for lunch. I showed them the picture of the haircut I want. I got some objections, probably because the girl in the picture looks a little scary. I tried to get them to see just the haircut and not the punk/goth/screamo girl sporting it. It was discussed but I think they could tell that I was already set on that cut and asking them was just a formality. 

 “This isn’t because of Thomas is it?” I knew everyone was thinking it. Kyle would be the one to actually voice it though. 

I'm sure the look on my face gave it away. I don’t get over people all that well okay. I tried but this one was really hurting. I don't know what it was about him. i just couldn't stop thinking about it. I don't think I've ever been shut down like that. I guess it hurt a lot because everybody else thought that it was going to happen, it wasn’t just me this time. Guess Thomas didn’t get the memo that everyone was gunning for us.

They all give me a look. Jane’s was sympathy mixed with her trying to understand. The rest were a mix of disappointment and pity. I closed my eyes preparing to answer the question. Lying was out of the question since I'm a terrible liar and these are my best friends and they know me too well. When I opened my eyes the looks were gone and everyone started eating and the conversation moved on. I guess they either knew what the answer was or they didn't want to hear about it right then. 

The conversation did move on: to when I was getting my haircut. Half and hour later I was sitting in the hairdressers chair showing off the cut I wanted. That's right I got it cut right then and there, having only decided that morning. It was pretty nerve racking but change is what I wanted so change is what I was getting.

I remember the first cut of the scissors. That sound that they make is unmistakable. 

And they just kept going. And going. I loved it. I got more and more excited as my hair got shorter and crazier. While I was having the best time in the chair, Jane was snapping pics and weeping over the loss of my long locks. It was pretty funny. Mac was cheering me on, loving it just as much as I was. Zoe and Kyle were playing some game on his iPhone.

When it was all over, she straightened and styled it and it looked awesome! It still looks awesome some hours later. I don't have my long, straight-across-the-back blonde hair. Now it's choppy and crazy and totally me. All previous objections turned into compliments.

All us girls are sat on the curb outside the hairdressers Waiting for Kyle, who was on the phone with his parents. Since he was our ride, we had to wait, which was totally fine 'cause I had fun tossing my hair back and forth and running my fingers through it.

And then Mac got a crazy idea “Hey you know what we should do?” she looked at me like she’s just discovered a new species. “We should do your makeup like the girl in the photo and dress you up, do your hair then take a picture and send it to Thomas to show him what he’s missing!” 

Actually now that I think about it that’s a good idea, a little jealousy would be good for him, and a little revenge would be good for me. At the time though, I protested a little, not really wanting to talk about him. I certainly didn't want to talk TO him. But now...I think it could be done. If I wear all black or even a shirt from one of the bands he likes. 

“We could totally be like ‘Suck it asshole, you lost this!’“ Zoe is totally in on this. She loved the idea of getting back at him for what he did to me. Zoe is able to hold a grudge past death. Almost to a fault. 

I’m the total opposite; I can give an infinite number of 2nd chances. It’s kind of a fault of mine. I forgive people even if they don’t deserve it. But that’s just who I am; I forgive people and I care about other people’s problems. I also don’t like people taking on my problems. I like to deal with stuff myself, so like when Mac and Zoe wanted to beat Thomas to a pulp I wouldn’t let them, because I didn’t want them to hurt him and deep down I felt that if anyone was going to get to punch him in the face it should be me.

So revenge?

This journal belongs to...Where stories live. Discover now