dichotomy ; gawsten

two

apparently you guys liked this? so i'm gonna continue it lmao i've got a ton of ideas already and i'm really excited. this chapter's longer than last but still kinda short. this sets up awsten's backstory in a way, and from here on out, chapters will be long. these first two just had to be short for you guys to get a sense of where each of them is coming from. 

enjoy!

"Shit shit shit Aws don't move, I left my towel on the floor again!"

Awsten smiles. He already knew that, having waved his cane back and forth across the floor and caught the fabric in its tip. But Otto is paranoid and worries too much and maybe he has a reason to considering their ER visit last month when he banged his head off a countertop because he tripped over a haphazardly placed box when he didn't have his cane with him. Their apartment is the one place he doesn't need his cane. He's memorized the layout and as long as Otto doesn't turn into a chameleon and go on redecorating sprees once a month, he's fine.

Otto's been helping him for years and he's fully acclimated to the immaculate state their apartment needs to be in. He just forgets sometimes, gets lazy and drops his towel all over the place and then proceeds to place himself in a jail of guilt when Awsten stumbles or falls over it.

An arm slides around his waist. He leans into it. "I'm fine, Otto. I have my cane. Everything's fine."

"I'm sure it is, but I'm not in the mood to spend our rent money on another ER visit," Otto mutters. "Where were you tryna go?"

"Couch," Awsten replies, retracting his cane. He folds it in half and, keeping the band around his wrist, slides it into his sweatshirt sleeve. "But I gotta leave soon. I'm tutoring at three."

"It's not even two," Otto tells him. "You can sit. D'ya want the remote or something?"

"Nah." Awsten plops down on the couch cushion and pulls his phone out of his pocket. "You got work tonight?"

"No." There's a hint of something in Otto's voice. Hesitation. Uncertainty. The things you hear about being blind, it heightening the other senses to make up for the one you lack, are all true. He can detect the slightest change in tone, like a facial expression he would be able to see. He can't see Otto's face through his eyes but he can see it in his mind, eyebrows drawn together, lips slightly parted, eyes downcast. "But...I wanted ta take Grace out tonight. She's been workin' so much lately and today's her one day off and I never see her and I-"

"Hey," Awsten cuts him off. "Dude, calm down. Take her out. Somewhere nice too, don't go eat shit at that taco place again."

"But no one's gonna be here, I-"

"Jesus christ," he mutters. "I'm not an invalid, for fuck's sake. I'll be fine."

That's the one thing he hates. Everyone, even the biggest advocate for his independence, still sees him as the baby teenager who couldn't stop the waterworks from his useless eyes upon coming to the realization that he could no longer see. The baby teenager who spent months cooped up in his bedroom, sure he'd never be able to leave his house, let alone live a normal life, because his world was shrouded in darkness. That was over ten years ago and Otto hasn't forgotten about it.

"You just got your stitches out."

He tilts his chin and raises an eyebrow. "Did you leave me anymore surprises around the place? Wet towels, clothes, hair ties?"

"I swear I didn't."

"Then go," Awsten urges. "Put on something nice – and for the love of god if you wear that awful suit I will tear it off you myself – do your fucking hair – you could brush it once in a while, ya know? – and be a fuckin' good boyfriend. Fuck's sakes, you're makin' me wanna call her and apologize for your shitty priorities."

"You're always gonna be a top priority, Aws."

He sighs. "I know that, but that doesn't mean you gotta neglect your girlfriend for me. I'm fine. Go now, for all I fuckin' care."

"Who's gonna drive you to the library and pick you up?"

"I can call Travis."

"Because that worked out so well last time."

"Everyone can't be you, Otto."

The couch dips. Otto curls in beside him and slings an arm around his shoulders and he leans into him begrudgingly. "Ya gotta let go of this sometime, y'know." He rests his head on Otto's shoulder and closes his eyes. "I'm okay."

"I know you are." Otto's lips brush against his hair. "And I'm so prouda you. You're doin' so well."

"Love you." Awsten shifts his weight to the other side of his body and lets it fall almost completely on Otto. He puts his phone on the arm of the couch and brings his knees up to his chest.

"Love you too." He hears the TV click on. Otto lowers the volume so it's barely audible, just background noise. He can barely distinguish what the people are saying. "Take a nap, Aws. I'll wake you in thirty."

"Thanks," he mumbles. He's already drifting off. The room is starting to feel further and further away. He can feel Otto's pulse and the steady beating of his heart. There's no blackness to drift into, but there is a state beyond what he sees every day. The shadows in front of his eyes go blacker and darker and finally, he finds himself in the world of sleep. 

i'm not sure how many of you were expecting that but...there it is lmao (also writing a blind character is hard wtf what did i sign myself up for) next chapter is where the story really starts to pick up so stick with me! we just needed to get through this little bit of exposition. 

thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed!