I cant even explain how I feel right now.I'm happy with Alex but lately I'm feeling down and I don't if its my doubt's that's troubling my thoughts or the fact I miss Abby.I hate to admit this but maybe I was being a bit bitching lately but that's the reason why Alex was here to make me forget about her but then again its harsh enough to be in the same college on the same level and walk around and ignore each other.I heard from rumors that she's officially with Hailey which doesn't bother me because I'm with someone but her reason is and I'm effortlessly trying not to be nosy with their relationship but I can't help it.How can I ignore her for long I love Abby as a friend of course and to be surprise I'm not a person who holds grudges but this one this little situation was hurting me because I never secondhand Abby to have impatience with me like that conversation we were going to have but she ruin it and I don't understand what made her react like that.Its not normal well for me to have a distance from the only person I had shared secrets with.The one who deal with my endless cries or my baffle emotionals that took me from the world and surround me with personal problems that I never encounter with.I really miss her and as much I want to run to her I can't seem to move my feet and my brain is telling me to be stubborn and see if she'll come back to me but my heart is telling me to do what's right and that's closing this distance relationship and catch up on our friendship.If that's what I need to do then I will do to cut this out whatever I have to do I will do it for us.
I hate to admit this but damn I miss her.I miss her telling what's best for me even I don't want to hear it I'll just zoned on purpose so she can get annoyed and leave it alone.Even though I hate it I love seeing her face it was something I can remember that will make me laugh interminably until my stomach hurt.
Wow all we've been through we end like this and I can't help but to agree to disagree I think with this separation we can actually learn our lesson and maybe come to a conclusion.A conclusion that suit both of us well and not selfishly for each other and we both know that's going to make the problem or whatever this is bigger than it is.Inside I keep telling myself she'll come back but outside she doesn't give a two shits and that hurts and it jumbles my thoughts from left to right and I cant stop them and it will take minutes maybe seconds till I burst my eyes with these tears that describe how I feel inside and I hate to show weakness.I can't its too hard I lo--my thoughts interrupted by harsh knocks .I instantly got up but trip over something with a oomf.I clumsy stand up and muttered a few cuss words and threw the book on Hailey's side since its hers and went to the door.I clean myself up and slowly turn the knob that feels rough with my sweaty hands and open the door to be wrap by the last person I dreamt of touching me.I was stiff for a couple of seconds but eventually hug back.I hug my best friend back.
"I miss u so much I feel so depress and I'm so confused of why I hold it in for so long.I'm so sorry Abby I'm so sorry"she said with a cuple a sniffs following I can feel the tears coming onto my shirt but I don't care I don't care if she was acting bitchy she's my friend and I love her no matter what she's all that matters to me.
"its okay rocky I still love u and its not ur fault completely I have some dealts with this too.I hate how this is going I want to get back together and I'm sorry I reacted that way I was being bit--she interrupted me
"no I was the one I....I just don't know anymore I don't feel like it was the right time but I know that u cared so...no I don't have feelings for Leigh Anne anymore I completely moved on are u happy"she asked I can hear the scarsm in her voice but all I did was pulled her tighter to me and pull her into the room and close the door behind her and lead her to my bed where we cuddle.I enjoy her warmness and I love stearing into her blue eyes something I envy.
"you know I still envy your eyes ?"
She smiled at me with her perfect straight teeth that shine with the sunlight so right something I love about her she blended with the nature even if she wasn't trying she always had that affect.
" yeah but I always envy your eyes and I love your blond hair that fits perfect with your personality you know what it describes ?"
"no not really I'm clueless its just a color"I fluttered my eyebrows I don't see what's so special about this color if it was something she seen I must be completely blind.
"how could u not it describe ur brightness and ur obsession with nature or your kindness and ur courigious mind thinking that always was adventours but last of all ur love that is completely stronger than mine."I just look up at her and couldn't stop myself from smiling.I was taken back but she's right I love nature I was always a curious kid and still I'm but I can't help it I love to find more about theories or just the world completely.Instead of keeping the conversation on I just closed my eyes and humm to tell her thank you and feel into a deep sleep with a smile that could never itch itself from my lips.
I watch her feel into a sleep with a smile on her face.I smile back even though she can't see it but I don't care cause I know I'm the reason who put it there.I envy the way her pale skin blend in with the sunlight and how I couldn't stop my fingers from eagerly touching her face and I notice that goosebumps formed but I just ignore and move closer so now that my head was laying in the crook of hear neck smelling the familiar scent.Her favorite shampoo which was vanilla something that blended right with her skin and just like that I feel into a sleep that I dreamt with a girl who filled my nose with vanilla with intruding eyes that make you want to smile and light up your way to her,
sorry it took long to update I've been busy with school and I'm soon about to graduate from middle school and I'm overly excited.I hope u guys enjoyed this chapter and I know my runons but I had a lot on my mind but tell what y'all think give me feedback I will love ur honesty .
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