"Don't worry. I'm a professional". I say that quite often and in many different contexts, but I remember saying he day after my birthday. Somebody was inquiring about if I had gotten my friend Eliza a birthday gift yet. I had said no. Besides, her birthday was in a week and I was still marveling at all of my birthday gifts. I had gotten a movie, several books, a cotton candy maker, a poster, and a Doctor Who tardis tea set.
Well, it was a week later, the party was in an hour, and I didn't have a gift. And you are probably thinking "You should've run to Giant Eagle and gotten her an Applebees gift certificate and a cheap birthday card, stupid". Fortunately, unlike you, I put lots of thought into a gift, so I looked through my heap of birthday presents, thought about which one she'd like best, grabbed it, wrapped it up, and went on my way.
"Nich Zu Trowen, where have you been?! You were supposed to be here two and a half minutes ago!" my friend Jacqueline squealed when I got there. She was always on time and had gotten really annoying over the years. Also, she called me by my full name which I absolutely hate.
(Nich is my first name, Zu is my middle name, and Trowen is my last name. It is an Americanization of "Nicht zu trauen" which is German for "not to be trusted" Thanks Dad.)
"Well, I'm here now so don't get your panties in a wad," and at that I walked away.
I placed my gift on the table, and then zoned out for about ten minutes. Apparently, while I was thinking, they all decided to open gifts first, so they could get it out of the way before they all got crazy caffeine rushs off of Red Bull punch which is Eliza's favorite drink.
Eliza sat down in a specially decorated chair to open presents. Fifteen sixteen year old girls pushed and shoved to get in front all the while begging Eliza to open their present first.
"You know what," Eliza said "Nich always puts so much thought into gifts, so I'll open hers first."
She picked up the cylindrical shaped package with Toy Story wrapping paper and started to carefully peel back the packaging.
She froze then asked angrily "Nich, how is it that we got each other the exact same signed Harry Styles poster?"