What to do...
I sat on my computer and faced an empty screen. It was dark in my room, cold. I had nothing on my mind but I could feel the vague warmth of Felix's kiss. I touched my lips with my finger and smiled. Closing my eyes, I tried to picture that moment when he kissed me. He leaned it, his eyelids drooping to a steady close... His lips slightly puckering up to meet my awaiting mouth... A lone gasp escaping through my throat, mistaken for a longing moan... Felix's hands running up and down my arm, through my hair, caressing my blushing cheeks.
Then my phone started ringing, waking me from my daze. I picked it up quickly.
"Cry?" I recognized the voice through the phone. I frowned in terror.
"What do you want Jaston?" I groused at my phone. Silence hung and I almost put my phone back on my table. I felt a bubbling anger in my chest and then... the image of Jaston kissing me appeared. I shivered.
"I'm sorry for what happened in the cafe, Cry. I got carried away and- and I couldn't help the feeling of--."
"Help the feeling of what? What feeling couldn't you help?"
He was silent again.
"I really, really like you, Cry." He whispered. I could barely hear him through the telephone line. There was too much noise around him. I exhaled harshly and I shut my eyes. I sort of expected it. I expected him to say that. How would I gently let him down without telling him about how I feel toward Felix? Wait... If I didn't tell him, then he'd keep persisting. I was battling in my mind until Jaston spoke again.
"I know you like Felix. More than like, perhaps," Jaston muttered. "But I didn't think it'd hurt to tell you what was on my mind. I truly am sorry to embarrass you or hurt you even. An apology is all that I can give you at the moment. So I've decided to leave you alone. Both you and Felix. Good luck with your life, Cry. I'll miss you."
But it was too late. The call had ended and I was stuck in the darkness of my room again. I wasn't thinking about Felix anymore, but I thought of Jaston. I didn't see him at all after that call. Months eventually passed... Jaston was never at the cafe, never at the library... I even walked by his place one day and, unfortuntely, it was empty and waiting to be sold.
I was lonely for one reason or another. A little because I avoided Felix for a couple days but I did it to clear my head. Felix understood that I needed the time alone. I re-read Moby Dick, I memorized the first line of it even. I remembered Jaston's turtle neck, his twinkling eyes when he read a book. I remembered the time we first met, our conversations... I miss them so much, it amazed me.
I suppose I shouldn't have acted the way I did when Jaston kissed me but... it was understandable, right? I didn't want him; I didn't like him as much as I liked Felix. To him, it was unfair. Life was unfair. But life's never fair. Is that a reason to regret what I did to Jaston? That I was being too unfair? Too mean? I tore him apart but honestly, he should've seen it coming. i'm not the best person in the world, I'm aware. Look at all the things I've done to my friends... I don't deserve them! But... I need them. I need my friends, my YouTube fans, family, whoever is willing to stay by my side so I can do the same for them. Be at their side too...
The moment after Jaston called, I thought of all of that.
So after five months, I decided to go find Jaston.
[A/N: Last part is the next part. :) I enjoyed writing this, even if it was on-hold for a long time and no one really read it xD... But, thanks, if you've come this far<3 Leave a comment to tell me what you think? ^-^]
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Save the Hero [BoyXBoy]Fanfiction
Cry enjoys his video games and all but he feels that he needs something more to keep his spirits high. Once he finally meets the most-subscribed Youtuber, PewDiePie, Cry believes all he needs is someone who could be a real friend. But when Cry start...