I continue my rage for about a minute or two. When I calm down, I see that Crookshanks has shrunk to the size of a tennis ball – not literally, he was just scared – and was cowering away from me. I reach my hand out to him but he swipes it and hisses.
“Crookshanks” I coo. My voice is scratchy because I haven’t used it for a long time and because of that outburst a few moments ago. “Crookshanks, come here. I won’t hurt you,” I say and he reluctantly slides across the floor. I pick him up and he jumps on my shoulder. I tickle him under his neck and he licks my face. I scream quietly and he jumps off again. Having a cat is so complicated.
As I walk, I learn that this place, whatever it is, is keeping me here for a reason. I don’t have the urge to eat, or drink. I almost never feel tired, and I can’t remember most of anything from my life. I can’t remember my dad’s name, or mom’s eye color. I can’t remember Julie’s laugh, or what instrument Ron used to play. Whatever this place is, it messed with my memory. I can’t even remember what my favorite color was. The point is, I’m here for a reason. I would have just gone to heaven or something, but I didn’t. This place took me here. It restricted me from going anywhere but here.
If my step-mom heard me talking about this she would most probably say, “It’s all about her! ‘Oh, I’m dead, but I’m not! It’s all about me! Me, me, me!’ I’m telling you, you should get her a counselor or something. She’s gone crazy!” Then again, she never really liked me. I think she would have been happy to get the ugly, miserable, pathological weirdo out of the house.
I wish my mom never left us. I remember being only 5 years old and she would read me bedtime stories. One night she was working on the computer and wrapped up in a blanket. She was singing in some weird language. It was raining heavily that night, it had been flood season. When the thunder clapped I screamed and ran over to her and buried my face into her blanket. Ron was 11 and he was laughing at me.
I got him back the next day, he needed help and I asked for him to give me his desert for a whole year if he wanted help. He agreed.
It’ strange how I can remember the most complicated memories, but forget the simple ones. I always thought it would be the other way around, forgetting the more complex and remembering the simple. That way you would have more room in your head. Guess not.
I walk for about half an hour more in human time – I have no idea how time passes here – and then bang into some wall. It’s glass. The light reappears behind it and the glass breaks. I’m getting sick of the white light sneaking up on me when I’m completely clueless…
“Aunt Marge? Where are we going?” I asked, thumping my tiny feet on the back of her seat.
“We’re going to get your mommy a present, Ava” she answers.
“Where? Is it in Disneyland?” I ask excitedly.
Aunt Marge chuckles. “Oh no, not in Disneyland, a room of shiny things” she explains.
“Shiny? Really? Mommy will get something shiny?” I asked.
“Oh dear. You’re just like your mother, always asking questions” she chuckles again.
Molly, Aunt Marge’s cat, strolls from the passenger seat to my baby one. She jumps on my lap and licks herself clean. Molly cuddles into my lap and I stroke her. Ron was sitting beside me. He picked her up and she hissed. He tried to throw Molly away from him but she was clinging to his sleeve. I was chortling whilst he was wrestling with the cat. The more he shook her, the more Molly clung to his arm.
All that quieted down when we arrived. I was bouncing up and down, yelling at the shiny things that were displayed in the window. When we went inside, my eyes actually hurt from the shiny stuff inside.
I immediately spotted a silver bracelet with mini golden rainbows and teddy bears. I got really excited and started to freak out. I grabbed Aunt Marge’s hand and pointed at the bracelet. Ron had turned away; he had met his friend here – Harry. Ok, now it really sounded like Harry Potter. So then Aunt Marg bought me the bracelet and handed it to me.
When we got back to the car, I jumped in after Ron and plopped down on my seat. I started bragging of the new bracelet Aunt Marge bought me and Ron just sulked because he was embarrassed of being seen at a jewelry store.
It was quite funny honestly, until Aunt Marge sung the car around. She opened the window and swore at another driver. The two were having a screaming match until he got so mad he swerved and hit her car on purpose. The pressure was like having a one-legged man with stilettos stomp on my chest. Thank god Ron and I had our seat belts on.
The crash itself was horrible. Ron tried to shield me form the flying metal all over the place. A piece of the windshield fell on my head and I blacked out.
I woke up later that day in the E.R. My right hand was hooked to a machine of clear liquid. The brightness of the room reminded me of the shiny-stuff store. The bracelet Aunt Marge gave me. Aunt Marge. What happened to her? Is she ok? Where is she? I hope it was nothing too serious… I look at my right hand, which used to contain the bracelet. The bracelet was gone.
I jump back from the light. The silver bracelet appears behind the light and I lunge at it, hoping to get this over with.
It disappears as soon as I touch it but the light stays there. That’s weird. I move to touch the white light again. It expands around me… Drawing me in… Something about it is comforting. I thankfully let it take me, giving in entirely. I don’t care where it takes me, as long as it takes me somewhere else but here.
No more purple, no more lights, no more painful memories, no more cats…
CATS! CROOKSHANKS! I fight the light and turn around but Crookshanks has been glued to my leg the whole time.
I relax and let the light envelop me in it’s warmth.
I have found my lost memories.
YOU ARE READING
I step back from the light. I stand there, coughing of not being able to breathe properly. The light disappears and in it’s place is the lost book. I go forward to grab it, but it disappears. I yell in frustration. I was so close! So close of having...