You meet a lot of people in your lifetime and few people you can honestly say become more like ohana (family) when you have close friends. That's how it was in the beginning. I was so quiet about my problems, I couldn't bring it to myself to be a burden and everyone had their own success in their own rights.
I held a deep secret because I was afraid of their judgment and I couldn't grasp at the fact of being all alone again in this sad but troubled world. I thought I'd be dead by the crap I've had dealt with, why burden the ones I knew I could trust with my secret? I pondered on what would happen but I knew I had to speak up or forever be in the silence of my own sorrows. I didn't want pity because I already survived most of when some people just give up.
I knew I had to prove it to myself because no one really gave a damn in my own bloodlines maybe just a few might've but it was all becoming unclear of who really was true and loyal in my own ohana. I just drifted in my own fantasy and I had summoned myself to finally tell my close friends about my woe, my secret and I just felt my heart beating rapidly.
You could say that this confession was something I've held in deep and honestly the longer I held it in I knew it would consume my entire sanity.
Today I thought was going to either break us apart or bring us closer but I had to speak up..
I began to breathe and my heart arose and rapidly to pound as I began my confession and that's when I knew I couldn't turn my back now since my hands were shaky and sweaty from the built up nervousness..
COMMENTS Are greatly appreciated and accepted. WILL work on Chapter 2 asap. Mahalo (thank you) for reading.