"Want me to go find a Chick fil a or a Fazlois?" I asked May, gently. She sat with her legs drawn up to her chest. Her back rested against the headboard of the bed, and her head was between her knees. "Yea, go ahead." She whispered, not pulling up her head to meet me in the eyes, she was nervous, and this was the only way her body knew how to show it. She was on the verge of a breakdown, I could see it in her figure. "May, don't do this to me, not again." I spoke carefully, moving to my sisters side. "I can't help it. I can't stop it," she whispered, again not lifting her head. "Just go before it happens. You can avoid it this time." I was not going to let tears fall, escape my eyes. All I could do was nod, because I knew I would choke if I was to speak. I grabbed one of the keys off of the table that sat between the two beds, not taking my eyes off of May. "I'll be right back, I swear." May whimpered which caused my heart to break even more. "Go, please," she choked out and I knew the sobs were coming. I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, closing it behind me, barely making a noise. I shoved my hands into the pocket of my turquoise colored under armour sweatshirt, my feet making hollow sounds as I stepped down the hall. My head was spinning, I couldn't have May acting like this. Not now, not before idol. Without even being able to notice my actions, I pressed the button that bore the thick black down arrow. My brain was telling me she couldn't help it, but my heart was telling me that she was going to end up like mom. May knew she had a seventy-five percent chance that she would get as bad as mom and she came to terms with it, but I hadn't. My sister could save herself somehow. Something could save her. Maybe even someone. I didn't know what to do, and I knew I wasn't the person that could help her. I twisted my fingers together inside my pocket, something I'd always done as a nervous tick. The ding sounded and the metal doors opened. I shook my head, knowing I had to somehow clear my head before I could even think about speaking to anyone. I stepped out of the elevator quickly, managing to keep one foot in front of the other for a few steps. I almost screamed whenever I ran into something solid. Jumping back and gathering my facials, I looked up. In front of me stood a boy, "I'm sorry," I spoke, "I was not watching where I was walking." He smiled, looking down at me. "That's fine, I wasn't being careful enough." I took in his appearance. Brown hair covered his head, slicked back, it seemed. Chocolate brown eyes watched me, his tall and skinny figure looking down at me. I simply nodded, walking past him down the hall. I stopped, not remembering how to get myself to the front desk. Sighing, I turned around in the direction of the boy. "Hey!" I exclaimed, causing him to turn. "Could you please show me where the front desk is? I don't remember how my sister and I got to this elevator from there." I had to of sounded lost, and horribly confused. He grinned, probably thinking I was an idiot. "Certainly, I just came from there." I bit my lip, managing a small smile. "Thanks." He walked down the hall, making it to my side. "This way." He spoke, starting down the hall in the opposite of the direction. "So who am I helping?" He asked, curving his lips into a smile. I couldn't help but smile back, he was just so, handsome. My cheeks flushed as I said "Olive Ashford, and you are?" He grinned, but not showing his teeth at all. "Sam Woolf, guide for Olive Ashford." He chuckled, "Sorry I'm a dork sometimes." I kept my head down, grinning. I knew I couldn't let him see me, I didn't have time to be with anyone, I had May. "It's fine, my friend Mason is too." I saw the opening down the hall where it split into two separate ways to turn. "Any chance your here for American Idol auditions?" As anybody could tell, I wasn't good at making small talk. "Yeah, I'm here for the auditions. I'm nervous beyond repair, but I'm here." Saying the word, nervous, made me think of May upstairs in our hotel room. I needed to get back to the room, but I wasn't going to tell Sam that. "You here with anyone?" I nodded, "My sister, she's resting. You?" My question brought a smile to his face. "I'm here with my idiotic friends, Lou, Skyler, and Max. They're very.... different in the head." I allowed a laugh to escape me. I hadn't really laughed in very long, and it felt good to be able to. "So what are you singing?" I questioned, seeing the desk beginning to appear in the distance. He kept his eyes ahead, not looking at me. "Lego House by Ed Sheeran, but I'm also playing my guitar." I raised my eyebrows "You play? That's amazing. Make me a deal, we both get through, and you owe me a lesson." He scoffed, now tearing his eyes away from the hall, moving them toward me. "You don't even know me." I shrugged, stepping into the lobby "Never said I wouldn't like to." Suddenly I saw three guys sitting in the lobby, grinning at Sam. "We've only been here for a half an hour and you already have a girl?" One exclaimed. "Calm down, Max. I'm just helping her find the lobby." A taller boy crossed his arms, his blonde hair a mess on his head. "You were supposed to be finding our room, not looking for things for the cat to drag in." Now I understood what Sam meant by saying they were different in the head. "Thanks for showing me the way, Sam, but I really need to get back to my older sister as soon as possible," I said, apologetically. I really didn't want to leave, but I had too. I glanced at the boys, "And just so you know, at least he found someone to drag in, it's not like you three could even manage that." They stared open-mouthed at me and I grinned. Before any of them could say anything I walked up to the desk lady. "How may I help you today?" I put my best smile on, "Do you know where the nearest fazolis is?" Nodding her head, she reached her hand under the counter, pulling out a small booklet "All the restaurants and shopping locations in Savannah, feel free to keep that for the remainder of your stay." I nodded, surprised that she was letting me keep it until we left. "Thanks so much." I couldn't imagine what was happening with May upstairs. Her breakdown might already be over. They could last from ten minutes to hours. "Olive!" Sam spoke, causing me to turn around. The final boy chuckled, "So she has a name." Max, I think Sam had called him, elbowed the boy in the side. "Don't be rude, Skyler. Our boy is finally growing up." Sam rolled his eyes at them and turned to me once again. "Yes, Sam?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Good luck at your audition, I figure we'll be seeing each other again?" I felt myself blush, "Yea, yea we will be." I quickly hurried to the elevator before they could see my face. His friends would most definitely make fun of me if they saw me blushing. I wasn't allowed to look at boys like that, I had too much responsibility the way it was, and I shouldn't be leaving May behind as often as I have been. Sometimes I think, that's why Mason and I didn't have as much as we did. I couldn't be in a relationship of any kind. Knowing me as soon as I get a boyfriend something would happen with May. The sound of the boys laughter filled my ears as the elevator doors slid closed in front of my eyes.
•••
"May?" I asked, knocking softly on the hotel door. Her voice was muffled by the door as she responded. "Come in, Olive. It's over." I shoved my plastic key into the slot, waiting for the flashing light to indicate that the door was unlocked. I pushed down on the long, silver handle, and opened the door. May stood in front of the window, her arms crossed over her chest. "I'm a horrible older sister, aren't I?" I sighed, heavily. She always asked this question when she had a breakdown. "You don't need to answer. The answer's pretty obvious. You have to take care of me more than I have to take care of you." She turned around, her face stained with tears. "Name one boyfriend you've had, Olive. Name one part of life that's been normal for you ever since dad and mom left. Your life, it's been nothing but taking care of me. It's been nothing more than fear, and tears for you." I shook my head. "No, May, it's not like that." May put her hand in her hair, pushing it back. She looked feverish and her cheeks were bright red. "Quit lying for my sake! I know you're lying because you're trying not to make me upset, but I already am. I don't feel right." No matter how much I racked my brain, I didn't think I could remember one time May had snapped at me. "You know what May?" I broke, I was broken. "You have made my life a living hell! I just met a boy downstairs in the lobby, his name was Sam, but am I going to be able to be with him, even if I wanted to? No! I never even had a chance with Mason, because I'm always here, looking after you! Making sure your okay! Well what about me, May? What about me!" May sank to her knees and covered her ears. "I can't help it! It hurts and I don't know what to do, Olive! If you weren't there to bring me back from my insanity then I would have been taken away like mom a long time ago! Do you want that?" I shook my head, digging my nails into my wrists, sometimes swearing the pain was the only thing keeping me from turning out just like my sister and mother, insane. "Don't you get it, May? Don't you understand! We can't live like this!" She was sobbing uncontrollably. "What do you want me to do? I can't make it stop! It's how I am! I don't want to live like this anymore, Olive. I'm afraid of myself." I fell to the floor, my knees becoming too weak to hold my body weight. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do. "We're a mess, May." I whispered, looking at her from between my knees. She was sobbing so hard that she couldn't say anything. I knew she couldn't help but act like this, but it overwhelmed me sometimes. "You... can try... to be... with Sam," she choked out. I bit my lip, shaking my head back and forth. "No, May. Don't worry about that, just worry about now, I'm going to stay right here, with you. Okay?" She nodded, over and over, as if she was reassuring herself that it was going to be. "Okay." I reached my hand out, wrapping my fingers in hers, pulling her off the ground. "Come on, May. Let's go to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow, and maybe we'll meet Sam." She managed to smile, a small one, but it was a smile. "Maybe we will."

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