Day 5: Doctor

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Dear Doctor,

Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. I just had to repeat a name as beautiful as yours – it would be criminal not to. Please forgive me; I know that you’re looking quite sad right about now. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help but write. Stop that now, stop using those big, sad eyes to make me feel all sorts of things I shouldn’t be feeling. You know as well as anyone that it isn’t right.

Years have passed since it all happened – end of the universe tends to put life into full throttle – and I’m still sitting in my Mum’s house and staring out the window in hope of catching a tired, tired man dragging a stolen, blue box. It’s quite funny because I walked away from you yet my aching heart and heavy mind makes me feel as if you were the one who had deserted me. How is that possible, Doctor? How do you take such lost children and show them the very churning wonders of the universe only to bring them down to the hellish reality of life on Earth?

I know you don’t mean to. I know that you only depart from us for our own good. Spending too much time around the blood of enemies can thwart the most innocent of minds. I understand. We understand.  I just don’t think it’s fair. It’s selfish and ungrateful but it’s what I feel.

I’m starting Uni again, if you’re wondering, because I reckon that I’ve seen too many lives dissolve into nothingness to not do anything. I reckon that I met you for a reason and I intend to honour that reason and treat the infected minds and hearts and thoughts around me. I didn’t struggle through all those adventures for nothing.

I felt this soft emptiness inside ever since I walked out that beautiful, blue box. It was easy to ignore and that’s the problem. It was a little too easy to ignore. I can’t help but wonder and I can’t help but ask: does that feeling live and breathe inside of you? Does it gnaw away at you daydreams and shatter away your security? And do you push it into a cage only to hear its relentless rattling? Do you, Doctor?

We’re here for you, okay, every single one of us. Yes, we’ve found a corner of this ridiculous world and made it our own but you’re always in our hearts. You’re always in our laughs. You’re always in our prayers. I trust you know this.

I know this won’t drive away the emptiness that anchors its roots within you but it’ll soften it. Just please, keep someone with you, and please don’t leave yourself as your only company. Because I can’t stand to even imagine what terrible things might happen. Please.

Someday you’ll stop sailing the vast oceans in the sky with that feeling of emptiness. Someday you won’t have a companion because someday the TARDIS will be enough.

Love,

Martha.

A/N:

This has the potential to be absolute rubbish. I seriously don't know what to make of this. Oh gosh. Leave a comment and please be kind but still truthful! :D

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