How to Save a Life

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“You can’t do this” I say quickly, not wanting to believe it could happen. “Actually we can,” Michael shoots back, turning to face me “you signed a contract saying we could.” I lower my eyes away from his gaze, still denying what he was saying. “It’s not a choice you get to make” I say icily, one last time, praying he will drop it. “It’s what’s best for your career,” Michael says, stepping out of the room, “and your career is actually my choice to make.” I watch the door close as he leaves, and I punch the couch. How does he expect this to ever work? It’s not like anything will change when he comes back. This is my life not his, and he can’t control me this much, even with a contract. Surely there has to be a way out. I look around at the studio, our two albums hanging up on the wall. Above them is a plaque that reads “One Direction goes multi- platinum on debut album.” Suddenly, that multi platinum doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I would trade all of this back in a second, the money, the fame, the screaming girls, if I could just get to make my own decisions again. I’d even give up spreading music and doing what I love. The clock turns to 8:00, and I roll over on the couch. “That’s all I really care about honestly,” I think, “just spreading music and inspiring people. The money doesn’t mean shit to me.” Just then Louis walks into the room. He catches the look on my face and sighs, “I know mate; we all hate management.” He says quietly, and I sit up, realizing he knows what’s going on. I can feel the darkness in my gaze. “But this is a new low right? Like this is completely wrong and I’m not being a jerk for opposing it.” I spit out, a little angrier than I had intended. Louis nods coolly and passes me a water bottle. “You never know what could happen,” he says, staring at me. I narrow my eyes, “Of course I know what will happen. I will be miserable for seven months.” I shoot back. He smiles and raises his eyebrows, “I just think you shouldn’t take this out on the girl,” he says and then walks out of the room without another word. “This is just as much her responsibility as management’s,” I say into the empty room, playing with the cap of my water bottle.  I roll over on the couch and think about Louis’ words. “Of course I know what’s going to happen.” I think, convincing myself all over again that nothing good could come from this. “She’s going to be an attention seeking bitch.” I flinched at the harshness of my thoughts, but I meant them, and I found myself hating her already.

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