Chapter 12

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I didn't come out of my room for the next two days. Gavin's mother was the only human contact I had since she brought me up food. Gavin stayed in his room, also. His mother thought it was because of Ryan's death, which it was for Gavin. But for me I had just had enough of the world for a while. There's only so much I could take. One night I was reading when my phone went off.

Gavin - Can I come to your room?

I sighed.

Me - Sure.

In a few seconds Gavin walked in slowly and laid down next to me on my bed. I turned my head to look at him. "What do you want?" I asked. I didn't sound happy.

"We all heard what you said to Ryan." He said as he looked back at me, but I turned my head so I was looking at the ceiling.

"You can't tell me you don't think I'm a monster. Or that you aren't scared of me." He took my hand and squeezed it.

"That doesn't mean we think you deserve to die. And that we can't still be friends."

I laid there and remembered my life. How, sometimes, I was so cruel to the people I was taking out. I'd wait until they saw me and realized who I was and then I would kill them. I ruined families, I ruined lives. It was my job to kill. But then I remembered how my dad treated me, and I wondered if that was how these poeple would treat their families. Maybe I was doing them a favour. I looked back at Gav.

"But you saw me nearly kill one of your best friends." He scoffed at what I had said.

"He tried to kill you too. He tried to kill all of us. Statistically, you're on top." He smiled at me and I tried to smile back. No one had ever been so willing to stick with me before. I turned my body so my head was resting against his chest. He ran his hand through my hair. Then Gavin's mother called up to us. "Gavin, Maisie, the boys are here to see you." Maisie. I liked the name, it made me forget about my past.

"Just send them up." I shouted back, staying where I was. Gavin didn't move either. The boys walked in, they waited for a second before laying down on the bed next to us. We laid there uncomfortably for a while before I spoke.

"6 of us do not fit comfortably on this bed." They all laughed and we sat up in a circle. Geoff looked at me.

"Truth or dare." I looked around at them before answering.

"Truth." I sat back, preparing for the question. Michael hesitated before asking.

"Did you really want to die?"I looked down and played with the strings on my hoodie before answering.

"At that moment? Yes." I looked him in the eyes and saw them soften. I didn't break eye contact with him as I spoke. "I've lived my whole life either in front or behind a gun and I was sick of it. You guys thought I was a monster, I had no family and in that moment I just wanted to lose the battle and get it over with. I know I'm going to Hell so why make them wait?" I kept my eyes locked on him. "Truth or dare?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. And then the game just fell into a casual thing with friends. It felt like we were just hanging out again.

After about an hour of us playing, the guys decided to go downstairs to play video games. As I left, Michael grabbed my arm and we hung back. I looked at him in concern. "What's wrong?" I asked. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and kept hand cupping the side of my face.

"I nearly lost you." He whispered as he pulled me in for a soft kiss. I felt a wave of happiness. I knew he probably would never forgive me for everything I had done but maybe we could move past it. We were only 16, I didn't expect this to last forever, but for now he was perfect. We went downstairs and joined the guys. It felt weird without Ryan but I was sure we'd adapt. I looked at Michael.

I felt like things were beginning to look up.

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